Where Had January Gone?

[Jack of Hearts]

A leaf upon an autumn lake,
edges upturned from water,
swayed each way by
every ripple;

Barley spikes caught upon slow gust,
floating in azure, below
where the sun fades;

And the heart of Fall.
A soft bell rings in September,
back to December and
where had January gone?

[Buh4Bee]

The swirling of the leaf echos in the cycle the calendar or yearly seasons. Autumn is a great time to write about, even in spring.

[Jack of Hearts]

jersea, thank you so much for your continued support. It has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.





J

[Bar22do]

This is fine. So well heard! and observed. S3 a bit cryptic, but powerful. Thanks a lot. Best from Bar

[billl]

S1 and S2 didn't amount to much, for me, but S3 is rich and fantastic, and S1 and S2 thus become clever sprouts in retrospect and reflection.

[Hawkman]

Hi Jack.

As it stands this reads well but there a couple of places where I feel the expression lacks the reflective elegance of the poem's tone. If I may I'd like to suggest:

"A leaf upon an autumn lake,
edges curling from the water,
sways each way with
every ripple;

Barley spikes upon slow gusts,
float in azure
below the fading sun;

And in the heart of Fall,
where has January gone?"

but it's just a suggestion...

Live and be well - H

[Jack of Hearts]

Thanks for sticking with this writer, Bar. Greatly appreciate it.

bill, thanks for that, and the previous exchange which has proven to be invaluable.

And Hawk, you're very good at what you do.




J

[hillwalker]

There's something very haiku-like about this. Pared down. And it works extremely well,

H

[Buh4Bee]

I'm always glad to read good writing. Thanks for the kind comments.