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winterroom
06-04-2011, 08:45 PM
Hello all,

I am new around here and still working out how everything works. I have been enjoying new posts and also dipping into the favourite poems thread and finding treasure.

I can't see that I can be as prolific as some people round here but I will toddle along at my own pace and post when I can. :thumbsup:


On Loch Morar

We send a spinner flashing behind the boat,
sure that speckled trout will rise from the deep,
hungry for inspiration after a life of nibbling
nothing but flies. Yellow jackets, crewcuts

blue eyes, we are hunter-brothers
and as the eldest I know I will be favoured
by the fish when I take my turn
with the orange line in my fist. But for now,

as the hard thwart numbs my arse,
I steer a course round the island
where our wake washes over the rocks,
and the star moss crowds the edge

of the shadow. Like my heroes
we have made maps, squatted over holes,
clomped the one street of a village
in our gumboots, climbed high enough

to see the green waves at the end
of their long roll from the west.
Like them also, in their books
with dull covers, we leave the womenfolk

to clean our catch at dusk,
and set it to sputter
into the golden heart of the fire
while we share hunters’ tales

with Orion. Later we sink like
Betelgeuse, red -eyed
with wood smoke,
to our heather beds.

Hugh

everyadventure
06-04-2011, 09:26 PM
Um. Wow.

EA is rarely speechless. This is wonderful. Why is it that all the best poems have lochs? (check out this one (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61705) and this one. (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61213&highlight=loch))Perhaps if I had a loch nearby, I would be a better poet.

Beautifully written, you captured the solidarity between you and your brother. I don't suppose there's room in the boat for one more? Oh wait, the women have to stay behind and clean the fish... never mind :)

tailor STATELY
06-04-2011, 09:29 PM
Welcome to Litnet.

Wonderful first post. I felt a part of the experience.

Post away at your leisure. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the growing treasure you have created after a short time.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

IceM
06-05-2011, 01:02 AM
I will say, this was beautiful. Each image was tangible, your color imagery was fantastic, it smells, tastes, feels like a beautiful moment.

I will also say, as I read this, it seemed to feel more like prose than poetry. Not at all was it prosaic, it just felt like the introduction to a novel more than a poem. But your piece was beautiful. Welcome to LitNet.

winterroom
06-05-2011, 10:10 AM
thanks for the comments!

everyadventure I wish I had a loch nearby! This was a remembered experience from childhood holidays over 40 years ago. I'm a long way from the Highlands now, but the Yorkshire (and Derbyshire) landscape also provides inspiration.

I enjoyed the poems you gave links for and, equally, the debates they provoked.

tailor thanks for the welcome!

ice I think many of my poems are narratives or incidents. I have some fragments of what might one day grow into a couple of longer narrative poems.

Hugh

hillwalker
06-05-2011, 10:47 AM
Superb start - I'm there standing next to you...

H

PrinceMyshkin
06-05-2011, 01:38 PM
The immediacy of this! It felt as if it were being communicated as it was happening.

PrinceMyshkin
06-05-2011, 01:50 PM
Sorry. Duplicated my own response.

Vignette
06-05-2011, 10:13 PM
Wow! I felt like I was right there, watching it all unfold before my very eyes! The sights, smells, colors - so enjoyable! This was wonderful, thank you for sharing it.

winterroom
06-06-2011, 05:29 AM
Thanks to hillwalker,PrinceMyshkin and Vignette for your comments.

hillwalker - if you're standing next to me - trim the boat! and watch out you don't fall in!

(note: all my knowledge of boats comes from Arthur Ransome)

winterroom

hallaig
06-09-2011, 05:35 AM
Another poet called Hugh!

Liked this a lot