Summer Night

[Alexander III]

A leafy canopy of pink faced nymphs,
Half-nude, blushing and giggling;
Like little white kisses of infancy.

Dream woven dresses,
Transparent and softly falling;
Like the moonlight down their shoulders.

[Alexander III]

Please do tell if you think it a bad poem?

[Jerrybaldy]

No. Wildly romantic, yes. Ethereal and dream like, like a summer night :)

[winterroom]

I think there is a lot to enjoy in this poem.

I see it as extendd metaphor. I am not sure if the nymphs are insects (crickets?) or other parts of the canopy - pink in the moonlight, 'chattering' in the breeze.

I just love the line "Like little white kisses of infancy."

I think 'dream woven' would be better hyphenated.

The form of the two stanzas reminds me of wordy haiku, with identical punctuation (something required by some haiku teachers). Though, the illusive metaphorical language is very different from that used in most haiku.

Hugh

[everyadventure]

A bad poem? No. But I did have a hard time deciding where you're going with it. Is it meant to be romantic, scintillating? I would think so, with moonlight and blushing and falling dresses. But the line about infant kisses really throws me off. I suppose it could be intended as more of a fairytale lullaby? Hm. To me, babies suggest innocence, purity, chaste and motherly love, but the rest of the poem implies amorous love...?

I do like what you were weaving here, it's just that one line has me stumped!

[Bar22do]

For me it is as if N caught sight "real" fairies, while his reverie took a bit more erotic way. I liked the delicacy.
Is your poem inspired by scenes of Midsummer Night Dream? and fairies' "sweet" manipulations? a nice little poem, actually.

[yuka]

Like Jerry said, wildly romantic, indeed, the images so vivid to portray a dreamlike summer night, but it's a little pity to end there as a poem, it lacks the 'soul' of capturing the heart of readers.

[blazeofglory]

A leafy canopy of pink faced nymphs,
Half-nude, blushing and giggling;
Like little white kisses of infancy.

Dream woven dresses,
Transparent and softly falling;
Like the moonlight down their shoulders.

It sounds a romantic poem and the poet seemed to have been in a romantic mood while versifying this. This sweeps me to a world of a bunch of romantic poets like Wordsworth, Shelley and Keats. We really enjoy such poems even today though few do write with those themes. Those poems were written when the sky was clean, rivers were uncontaminated and the atmosphere unpolluted and now industrialization and commercialization have shattered all else. But still we have ears for such poems.

[WolfLarsen]

Good poem! Romantic influences like everybody said. But it's romantic influences in contemporary form. Imagine if this poem rhymed. It wouldn't be half as good!

Plus what I like is that this poem says a lot in few words. Poetry is like whiskey, not beer.

Congratulations Alexander three!

[Delta40]

I think you say an awful lot in so few words. They are well chosen and make me wish I had long golden hair that could be lifted by the wind as I stand naked on a cliff (ok, don't go there with there image....)