sensen
05-29-2011, 06:09 PM
Please feel free to correct any grammar errors, structure or anything that does not sound right :) I might not be able to fix them right away but your comments will definitely help me with future writing.
Thanks everybody for reading :)
ERASE
He kidnapped, murdered, set bombs and terrorised nations.
She was his captive, one that he did not want to kill. Her death was not something he desired. Instead, it was her heart.
He usually got what he was after. One way or another, with or without force, he would have it. But not this time, not this woman. She spat in his face. She fought back. She was fearless. It drove him mad. So he threw her into his bed and hoped it would show her what worshipping really was.
Or so he thought.
"This woman", he told himself, "is nothing but troubles. I have to kill her and end my miseries. I cannot think straight. I cannot talk right. My men are starting to doubt my power. After all, what power do I have if I am not even feared by a woman?"
So came the day the great visionary leader finally showed his believers the consistency of his words.
He gutted her in front of his soldiers.
As her body tumbled to the cold ground, his soldiers roared in jubilation and he held his machette up above his head. The victory was his. He had put his own demon to rest. There was no longer the woman who took up all his time. No more of the only soul who could make his heart beat faster or slower. He was his own master, not her, not anyone else in this world, and he proved it.
That night, for the first time in his life, he was afraid. Not because of her blood on his hands or the way she looked at him before taking her last breath. Nor was it because he missed her so much and wished he had never killed her.
He was afraid because everyone that he saw suddenly had her face.
So he did what he did best in order to not be reminded of that woman anymore: killing off anyone who had her face.
His soldiers were terrified watching their once wise leader shooting randomly at some of them and other people. They did not know how to stop his hallucination so they tried to help him the only way they knew how: pray.
Their prayers were answered. One day, the shooting abruptly ended.
That day, the soldiers found their leader in his bathroom covered in his own blood and pieces of a broken mirror.
The leader had shot himself in the face.
Thanks everybody for reading :)
ERASE
He kidnapped, murdered, set bombs and terrorised nations.
She was his captive, one that he did not want to kill. Her death was not something he desired. Instead, it was her heart.
He usually got what he was after. One way or another, with or without force, he would have it. But not this time, not this woman. She spat in his face. She fought back. She was fearless. It drove him mad. So he threw her into his bed and hoped it would show her what worshipping really was.
Or so he thought.
"This woman", he told himself, "is nothing but troubles. I have to kill her and end my miseries. I cannot think straight. I cannot talk right. My men are starting to doubt my power. After all, what power do I have if I am not even feared by a woman?"
So came the day the great visionary leader finally showed his believers the consistency of his words.
He gutted her in front of his soldiers.
As her body tumbled to the cold ground, his soldiers roared in jubilation and he held his machette up above his head. The victory was his. He had put his own demon to rest. There was no longer the woman who took up all his time. No more of the only soul who could make his heart beat faster or slower. He was his own master, not her, not anyone else in this world, and he proved it.
That night, for the first time in his life, he was afraid. Not because of her blood on his hands or the way she looked at him before taking her last breath. Nor was it because he missed her so much and wished he had never killed her.
He was afraid because everyone that he saw suddenly had her face.
So he did what he did best in order to not be reminded of that woman anymore: killing off anyone who had her face.
His soldiers were terrified watching their once wise leader shooting randomly at some of them and other people. They did not know how to stop his hallucination so they tried to help him the only way they knew how: pray.
Their prayers were answered. One day, the shooting abruptly ended.
That day, the soldiers found their leader in his bathroom covered in his own blood and pieces of a broken mirror.
The leader had shot himself in the face.