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Vignette
05-28-2011, 12:43 AM
Imbued into pages of the past
is the rotting stench of memories, abandoned
between moldy layers
of decaying emotions unremembered,
and atrophied images consigned to oblivion.

Undead carcasses of pain,
with no sense of time,
eclipse logic,
and cry wolf
like over zealous guard dogs.

Festering thought-forms
exiled from awareness,
ooze their poisonous ruminations,
commingling with inmates,
breeding demented conclusions.

Topiary neurons,
ornamental synapses,
and finely manicured neural pathways,
can never vanquish
the oubliette.

hillwalker
05-28-2011, 08:21 AM
There are a lot of original phrases and word sounds in this - interesting enough in isolation - but the way they're presented here as an overblown list of abstractions make it a poetic version of purple prose.

H

Pendragon
05-28-2011, 08:23 AM
the rotting stench of memories, abandoned
between moldy layers
of decaying emotions

Fantastic, gripping lines!

Vignette
05-28-2011, 03:08 PM
Hillwalker - thank you for your constructive criticism - I appreciate it. I am sorely struggling with abstractions as you can see. Back to the drawing board as they say. :-)

Pendragon - thank you, glad you enjoyed those lines. :-)