The Fence

[hillwalker]

THE FENCE

My Side

I mulch the borders
weed out waste
draw sacred signs on compost heaps
cast curséd spells
at neighbours’ cats
and strangle wind chimes in their sleep
hum incantations
back to front
pin voodoo dolls upon my gate
plant poison ivy
to deter
the evil spawn from Number 8

Her Side

She’s mental 'er,
that b1tch next door,
fur-evva pokin' at 'er patch.
An' when you try an'
'ave a word
she’ll turn 'er back an' start to scratch,
exposin' more
moff-eaten lumps
disfigurin' her fecking lawn.
I wouldn’t trust 'er
wiv that spade.

I wonder where are Darren’s gone?

H

[Hawkman]

Great fun hill, but ain't that the wrong are?

H

[hillwalker]

Correct - but 'our' sounded too refined.

H

[Delta40]

I definitely like strangling wind chimes Hill. I've never thought of you as a woman Hill but its feasible....

[Hawkman]

Correct - but 'our' sounded too refined.

H

Honly if you put a silent H in front of it :D

H

[hillwalker]

I definitely like strangling wind chimes Hill. I've never thought of you as a woman Hill but its feasible....

I'm a man of many sides - and anything's feasible :-)

H

[deryk]

This is the most fun I've ever seen you have with a poem, Hillwalker.
Despite the enormous deliberation of difference in grammar, I have to say they are both equally inhabitable. Highly re-readable!

PS: Do you have any Voodoo to teach? Most of that stuff is forgotten. I'm not superstitious, but I too like to have fun. :)

[Jerrybaldy]

Who is gonna miss a Hill production? I can see its face value, but this is Hill so there is something cryptic deep within. If only I could find it today.

Nice use of fecking - I remember reading that was invented by writers of Father Ted to get around the censors.

Are Darren is definitely phonetically correct. Is Darren relevant or just generic here......

Always a pleasure Hill.

[MystyrMystyry]

I once used ar as our (and sun for son)

What appeals to me most is the way you've lately been popping out unexpected gems, not what was to be expected (going back through your Litnet oeuvre)

Now what will be next? A name change to spelunker, representative of your quest of ever more arcane sources for inspiration?

Well done, and ver ver humerus

[IceM]

Excellent postings, both of which were a sheer pleasure to read. I'll say I enjoyed the first poem more, as it dripped with playful malice--"casting cursed spells / at neighbor's cats" being the most beautiful couplet of that poem.

Fun to read indeed!

[kittypaws]

So....who killed the cat ~ Darren? At least that is what I have taken from your poem...You who cursed spells at neighbors' cats or the one with the moff-eaten lumps disfigurin' her fecking lawn ?

Poor Kitty!

[Bar22do]

Who dared to kill Darren! but I suppose Darren has just gone to a better neighbourhood, for cats are wise! Interestingly, I could understand both parts, though no dictionary could help me with the second! Very entertaining, Miss Hill :smile5:
Bar

[hillwalker]

Thanks everyone for your kind comments -

@deryk - I'm no houngan, but I always have fun with my writing no matter what the subject matter may be (the darker the better)

@JB - not so much cryptic as a tongue-in-cheek poke at mis-communication either side of the garden fence

@MM - I'm pleased the fun-meister enjoyed this one

@IceM - thanks also for reading - this was intended as a single poem (2 sides of the fence)

and @kitty and @Bar22 - fear not. Darren isn't a cat - he's one of the human spawn from No. 8. Buried with all the other neighbourhood pests beneath my lawn.

H

[AuntShecky]

Our beloved Frost wrote --perhaps ironically--that "good fences make good neighbors," but in this piece you show us this isn't always the case.

The witchy references (both from the "refined" first speaker and the apparently unschooled neighbor) are effective, alluding in a strange way to the first scene of the Scottish play.

Oh, and there's no possible way you could've know this, Hill, but oddly enough, there was a wildly popular television sitcom during my youth (several Presidential administrations ago) that featured a sexy housewife, who, to keep her husband's career unsullied, had to keep her witchcraft under wraps. Guess what the husband's name was-- "Darren," played during the show's long run, by two successive actors.

[Jerrybaldy]

Bewitched was popular this side of the pond too, auntie and his name was Darrin (I was in love with his wife)

[hillwalker]

Thanks for reading and for your comments @Auntie - Samantha the witch (with the cute, twitchy nose?). I also have fond memories of her.
But this gardening fiend is a different cauldron of fish...

H

[blank|verse]

Darkly comical this one, hill, tied together with a rhyme every third line.

The first narrator seems a monstrous half-Macbeth witch ('mulch' is the clue) and half-Rose West.

I stumbled at the 'to deter' line, but it read well apart from that.

[hillwalker]

Thanks @b|v - I agree the 'deter' needs a 'from.....' following it (and 'Number 8' is not really what they were being deterred from). Ah well.

H