The Secret Heart of Persephone

[Dark Muse]

The Secret Heart of Persephone

She sat reflecting beneath
the moon's halcyon light,
the darkness entrances
and seems to call from
somewhere beyond,
and it makes her heart
stop her breath catches
torn between fear and
forbidden longing.

Sweet daughter of light,
receiver of life, whose beauty
shines within the sunlight,
and yet there stirs deep within
her alabaster breast the desire
for knowledge hidden unmeant
for one so fresh in youth,
the maiden crowned in daffodils.

But alas when she find herself
alone, to sit beneath a moon
bathed field, she hears the whisper
on the wind, calling her name,
speaking to that spot within her soul,
and she throbs to learn the mysteries
that only death can provide,
to go gentle into that eternal
night.

She sings a quiet hymn
to her lover concealed,
that may she fall away into his
never ending embrace,
worlds apart they share a
secret mind, and awaits she does
for the day when he will draw her
away into his realm of darkness
unknown that so tempts
even as she trembles in fear.

[Bar22do]

Your usual dreamy atmosphere, fragile and plaintive, Dark. My only quibble is about the last S, it doesn't add much and I think the poem is more poignant without it. But like I said, it's another beautiful poem of yours. Best from Bar

[Dark Muse]

Thank you, yes I debated about that one, but leaving it at the 3rd stanza did not feel complete to me, it felt too abrupt and end and I felt it needed just a little something more but I was not quite sure what the last stanza should be.

[Bar22do]

Have re-read your poem. I'd use only last L of you last S to round it (the rest of seems to me too explicit):

...
and she throbs to learn the mysteries
that only death can provide,
to go gentle into that eternal (unknown instead of eternal?)
night
even as she trembles in fear.

just a suggestion.