Would You Adam & Eve It?

[Hawkman]

You handed me that apple,
then you made a joke and laughed,
when you said I shouldn’t take it,
for the consequence was harsh,
but you knew that I’d be hungry
when I walked the city streets,
as I carried little money
and I couldn’t afford treats.

It’s no good moaning now that
we’ve been booted out of Eden,
God is justly pissed, as of
forbidden fruit we’ve eaten;
and I know that snake’s your mate and all,
but why d’you have to listen
to the silver tongue of serpent,
when the rules were clearly given?

Why angry words of discord?
Eve, I’ll tell you what I think,
when you washed my bloody fig-leaf
well, you made the damn thing shrink!
So I’m standing out here naked
as the day that I was made,
rather hoping that our friendship
and your temper isn't frayed.

[Delta40]

Shoulda saw this one coming after reading your post on jerrybaldy's poem. Snakes alive!

[Hawkman]

Just so long as they stay out of the laundry basket - I don't rate myself as a charmer :D

LLAP - H

[IceM]

Nice comic effect with a moralizing closing two lines.

Must be an unusual world where leaves shrink from washing.

[Hawkman]

Thanks IceM, glad you found it mildly amusing :) As for shrinking leaves, though - Ever taken a look at cabbage leaves, before and after boiling? Then there's spinach, of course, but in this instance, the less said the better... :D

Live and be well - H

[blank|verse]

Nicely inventive and humorous as always, Hawk. :)

[Jerrybaldy]

I like you best when you make me smile :)

[Hawkman]

Thanks b/v and JB. Glad you both enjoyed it.

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

Not exactly what Milton had in mind, but still --

Both the beloved GBS and the irrepressible, irresistable Mark Twain have slightly irreverent versions of the Adam and Eve story. Your verse belongs in that tradition.

By the bye, just this past week I heard that production of a film version of Paradise Lost has begun in N.Z. (It's either going to as great as LOTR or gawd-awful! )

I liked your reply about the snake in the laundry basket.


Some day I'll tell you the story about another laundry story. In the rented rural house in which we used to live --and which I miss like the Devil!-- the w & d were in the basement. One morning I went down there to do the laundry and found an uninvited guest curled up on the cement floor. With a kind of courage I didn't know I had, I coaxed it into an empty 30-can sized beer box and carried the box --gingerly, as you can well imagine-- down to the swamp behind our backyard, where the intruder was forcibly re-located.

It was, which I found out later -- a "milk" snake.

(But it was nothing like anything you'd want to pour on
your oatmeal.)

[Hawkman]

Well, Auntie, We only get adders and Grass snakes over here and only the adder is venomous, not that I've ever seen them in the wild, only zoos. I've seen lizards a plenty and slowworms of course. Other unsavoury nasties, like scorpions, I've seen on the railway platform at Chipping-Ongar, but we don't really have anything to be scared of on this side of the pond, fauna-wise.

Anyway, thanks for reading :D

Live long and prosper - H

[RobertHagedorn]

Adam and Eve? Do a search: First Scandal.

[Hawkman]

Sorry RH, too many hits! I've got better things to do with my life than plough through them all I'm afraid :D

H

[G L Wilson]

Women are a barbarism that men stoop to, don't you think, Hawkman? The proof is romance.

[Hawkman]

Hmmm... Barbarism, "Savagery, brutal or uncivilized behaviour; rudeness of manners; a form of speach offensive to scholarly taste." Applicable as a generalisation to women? I wouldn't know GLW, what's your gender? Romance is just the smoke one gets in one's eyes from burning money. It has the power to distort reality.

Live and be well - H

[G L Wilson]

Hmmm... Barbarism, "Savagery, brutal or uncivilized behaviour; rudeness of manners; a form of speach offensive to scholarly taste." Applicable as a generalisation to women? I wouldn't know GLW, what's your gender? Romance is just the smoke one gets in one's eyes from burning money. It has the power to distort reality.

Live and be well - H

I am male, Hawkman.

"Romance is just the smoke one gets in one's eyes from burning money." I love it! Is it your own?

What is reality? Is not love the truth? Is it not enough?

[Bar22do]

How pathetic, poem and discussion. Really. When will men take a little responsibility, I do wonder.

Best from Bar

[G L Wilson]

Women are responsible for babies, cute little things.

[Hawkman]

"Romance is just the smoke one gets in one's eyes from burning money." I love it! Is it your own?

'fraid so; a genuine, home-grown Hawkism.



What is reality? Is not love the truth? Is it not enough?

As for the nature of reality: this is, and always has been, a matter of subjective perception. Love, though, especially in its early stages, might be considered to be a form of madness. I don't preclude the possibility that there is truth in madness, but then we come back to the question of reality and its perception.

A madman's truth might well be very real to him, but whether anyone else, especially the object of that madness, happens to share the delusion may well be problematic. So, is it enough? Probably not.

Now I suggest that this thread is long past it's sell-by date and this discussion, which certainly has little to do with poetry, may well belong on another section of the forum. Should you wish to continue it with me, feel free to do so by pm. I have requested that this thread be locked now.

Live long and prosper - H

[Scheherazade]

Closed at the request of OP.