deck34567
05-22-2011, 10:26 PM
This is a cover letter type essay I am using for early decision applications. I am applying as a transfer. If you see anything wrong with anything PLEASE TELL ME. Any and all feedback is appreciated. My major is English so this really must be stellar. I want to the reader to feel the emotion I put into it.
Read Below:
Fort Wayne, Indiana. Population: approximately 250,000; home to bi-polar weather, anti-progressive residents, mediocre educational opportunities, and the pain of my existence. As an adolescent, I was a wide eyed idealist, hopelessly romantic, a child lost in fantasy, with an intense aversion towards authority and a taste for the theatrical. I found growing up in a “city” that is culturally restrained, politically backward, and socially moronic to completely impede, often unfairly, on my creativity. I was forced to attend an institution of secondary education that stressed the importance of such ludicrousness as keeping one’s shirt tucked in their pants, attending weekly mass, and following the law of this big man in the sky that everyone referred to as “God.” This law was often used a scare tactic in hopes that the students would blindly adhere to whatever political and social values “God” wanted them to. I, on the other hand, forced myself to recognize the difference between truth and a carefully structured system of brainwashing. This ultimately ostracized me from my fellow classmates, and in combination with a controlling and aloof father, and a confused mother, it created a rather awkward social development. Graduation was a bleak reminder of the person I was destined to be, followed by post secondary education which further gave validation to my teenage angst. Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost sight of the ideals that I once held so close my heart. Why was I so sure that I could make it work in this place? Why was I ever under the impression that life would somehow reward me for my valiant efforts to avoid taking risks? I find myself, now, at a crossroads. I refuse to believe that life cannot be an adventure. I refuse to accept that my life will somehow be complete without a journey to self discovery, a spiritual awakening, and an epic love story. I am seeking a fresh start, a rebirth, a chance to change my circumstances, and foster my passion for writing, cultural studies, and performance. I expect the absolute best from myself; however I have learned how crucial it will be that I am in the correct environment in order to reach my personal and career goals. I see completing my college education at () as a launch pad, an opportunity to learn and grow as an individual, and most importantly, as a breath of much needed fresh air. I hope to find a stimulating education, one that will allow me to question my ideals, an education that will challenge me, and encourage me to succeed. I truly believe with determination I can and will find what it is I am looking for. I have to believe there is more to life than a college degree, a nine to five job, two kids and a collie. Without it, I have nothing but a dream, a dream that will forever be unattainable if I do not dive head first into this new experience, if only to see what comes from it. I need to see what fate has in store. I need to believe there is a place in the world for me, a place where my eccentricities are endearing, my dramatic personality is adorable, and my determination and passion for life is valued. I miss the childhood ideals. I want those ideals back. I know the only way this will be possible is for me to throw myself into something new. With that in mind, here’s to hoping I am given the privilege of attending () this fall.
Read Below:
Fort Wayne, Indiana. Population: approximately 250,000; home to bi-polar weather, anti-progressive residents, mediocre educational opportunities, and the pain of my existence. As an adolescent, I was a wide eyed idealist, hopelessly romantic, a child lost in fantasy, with an intense aversion towards authority and a taste for the theatrical. I found growing up in a “city” that is culturally restrained, politically backward, and socially moronic to completely impede, often unfairly, on my creativity. I was forced to attend an institution of secondary education that stressed the importance of such ludicrousness as keeping one’s shirt tucked in their pants, attending weekly mass, and following the law of this big man in the sky that everyone referred to as “God.” This law was often used a scare tactic in hopes that the students would blindly adhere to whatever political and social values “God” wanted them to. I, on the other hand, forced myself to recognize the difference between truth and a carefully structured system of brainwashing. This ultimately ostracized me from my fellow classmates, and in combination with a controlling and aloof father, and a confused mother, it created a rather awkward social development. Graduation was a bleak reminder of the person I was destined to be, followed by post secondary education which further gave validation to my teenage angst. Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost sight of the ideals that I once held so close my heart. Why was I so sure that I could make it work in this place? Why was I ever under the impression that life would somehow reward me for my valiant efforts to avoid taking risks? I find myself, now, at a crossroads. I refuse to believe that life cannot be an adventure. I refuse to accept that my life will somehow be complete without a journey to self discovery, a spiritual awakening, and an epic love story. I am seeking a fresh start, a rebirth, a chance to change my circumstances, and foster my passion for writing, cultural studies, and performance. I expect the absolute best from myself; however I have learned how crucial it will be that I am in the correct environment in order to reach my personal and career goals. I see completing my college education at () as a launch pad, an opportunity to learn and grow as an individual, and most importantly, as a breath of much needed fresh air. I hope to find a stimulating education, one that will allow me to question my ideals, an education that will challenge me, and encourage me to succeed. I truly believe with determination I can and will find what it is I am looking for. I have to believe there is more to life than a college degree, a nine to five job, two kids and a collie. Without it, I have nothing but a dream, a dream that will forever be unattainable if I do not dive head first into this new experience, if only to see what comes from it. I need to see what fate has in store. I need to believe there is a place in the world for me, a place where my eccentricities are endearing, my dramatic personality is adorable, and my determination and passion for life is valued. I miss the childhood ideals. I want those ideals back. I know the only way this will be possible is for me to throw myself into something new. With that in mind, here’s to hoping I am given the privilege of attending () this fall.