MystyrMystyry
05-22-2011, 09:09 PM
Destructorata!
The following poem was not found in an old Baltimore church:
Introduction
You are a freak
Of the universe
You have the right to be here
But you still have to pay your way
Destructorata!
Do not slink flaccidly
Amid the moist and haze
And never turn your back on a friend
Unless of course they've already turned on you
In which case it's okay to drive a shiny knife
Betwixt their shoulder blades
Avoid rude and insulting persons
Unless you require of them to do a hit
Retaliate first!
Speak disparagingly of those more successful than you
Maybe begin a rumour or two
And while you're at it, start a few about yourself
For surely any publicity
Is better than no publicity!
That thing you call a face
Hide it away behind a lowered bandanna
Or perhaps a balaclava
(I know a little old lady who specialises)
Consider that everything you think you know
May in fact be nonsense gleaned from
Some old magazine
That someone else may also have come across
Whenever convenient, learn to darn
Your own socks
Because no-one is going to do it for you
And in spite of the changing fortunes of time,
There will always be a bank somewhere
Walk softly (exchange those squeaky boots for
A good pair of runners)
And carry a sawn-off in a shoulder bag
For your enemies shall be legion
Even the ones you went to school with
Have become more cunning
Strive at all times to roll someone
Less fortunate than yourself
- It's easier that way
And they're probably less connected than you
You never know
They may be an eccentric millionaire
Paydirt!
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Those happy neighbours
May be undercover Feds
Carrying out surveillance
That icecream truck, for instance
The one that hasn't budged
In months
Be paranoid
Very paranoid
Fall not in love with your mate's sister
It may become awkward
And will end with you getting roped into things
You really don't want to do;
Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
Except your comics
Keep them in plastic in a safe deposit box
They may be worth something one day
To collectors
And let not the sands of time
Flow upwards
Only one direction for the sands
If they look like they're going up -
Consult a doctor
And get a referral to a good shrink
Return your library books on time
This will keep you from accruing late fees
Remember to always buck the trend
Whichever trend is the latest
This will make you appear ahead of your time
In years to come
Take heart amidst the impending gloom
That you've gotten away with it so far.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
Things always get better before they get worse
Make peace with your God
Whatever you conceive It to be
A mote of dust, or a puppet with aerials
Sprouting out of its head
Above the pointy ears
With all its dashed hopes, empty promises and broken dreams
Life is what it is
No more
No less
Remember those whose sins you stomp on
Because they might rise from their graves
And challenge you to a duel
On that 'darning your own socks' issue
The little old lady said she might consider it for the right price
Which is good news because when it comes to sewing I'm all thumbs
Just have to make sure the 'right price'
Doesn't come to more than a new pair
What have I forgotten?
Oh - your Harley
Always get it tuned at the place you bought it from
Not at Crazy Nick's, who's got a shonk going on
With Fat Johnny
Involving stripping for spare parts
Though they're good spare parts and quite cheap
Don't let either of them do the work
In fact don't leave it anywhere near the place
You've been warned
And remember. life is what you make of it
Make haste
.
The following poem was not found in an old Baltimore church:
Introduction
You are a freak
Of the universe
You have the right to be here
But you still have to pay your way
Destructorata!
Do not slink flaccidly
Amid the moist and haze
And never turn your back on a friend
Unless of course they've already turned on you
In which case it's okay to drive a shiny knife
Betwixt their shoulder blades
Avoid rude and insulting persons
Unless you require of them to do a hit
Retaliate first!
Speak disparagingly of those more successful than you
Maybe begin a rumour or two
And while you're at it, start a few about yourself
For surely any publicity
Is better than no publicity!
That thing you call a face
Hide it away behind a lowered bandanna
Or perhaps a balaclava
(I know a little old lady who specialises)
Consider that everything you think you know
May in fact be nonsense gleaned from
Some old magazine
That someone else may also have come across
Whenever convenient, learn to darn
Your own socks
Because no-one is going to do it for you
And in spite of the changing fortunes of time,
There will always be a bank somewhere
Walk softly (exchange those squeaky boots for
A good pair of runners)
And carry a sawn-off in a shoulder bag
For your enemies shall be legion
Even the ones you went to school with
Have become more cunning
Strive at all times to roll someone
Less fortunate than yourself
- It's easier that way
And they're probably less connected than you
You never know
They may be an eccentric millionaire
Paydirt!
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Those happy neighbours
May be undercover Feds
Carrying out surveillance
That icecream truck, for instance
The one that hasn't budged
In months
Be paranoid
Very paranoid
Fall not in love with your mate's sister
It may become awkward
And will end with you getting roped into things
You really don't want to do;
Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
Except your comics
Keep them in plastic in a safe deposit box
They may be worth something one day
To collectors
And let not the sands of time
Flow upwards
Only one direction for the sands
If they look like they're going up -
Consult a doctor
And get a referral to a good shrink
Return your library books on time
This will keep you from accruing late fees
Remember to always buck the trend
Whichever trend is the latest
This will make you appear ahead of your time
In years to come
Take heart amidst the impending gloom
That you've gotten away with it so far.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
Things always get better before they get worse
Make peace with your God
Whatever you conceive It to be
A mote of dust, or a puppet with aerials
Sprouting out of its head
Above the pointy ears
With all its dashed hopes, empty promises and broken dreams
Life is what it is
No more
No less
Remember those whose sins you stomp on
Because they might rise from their graves
And challenge you to a duel
On that 'darning your own socks' issue
The little old lady said she might consider it for the right price
Which is good news because when it comes to sewing I'm all thumbs
Just have to make sure the 'right price'
Doesn't come to more than a new pair
What have I forgotten?
Oh - your Harley
Always get it tuned at the place you bought it from
Not at Crazy Nick's, who's got a shonk going on
With Fat Johnny
Involving stripping for spare parts
Though they're good spare parts and quite cheap
Don't let either of them do the work
In fact don't leave it anywhere near the place
You've been warned
And remember. life is what you make of it
Make haste
.