Stale Love

[Delta40]

We spent a ridiculous amount of time
looking for ways to turn stale ginger bread
back to its base ingredients.
Crumbling chunks soaked in water
then remoulded once more in a cake tin
and everyone said how well our effort paid off.
But years of tepid coffee and brittle icing
left us both with a bitter aftertaste.
I sniffed the cornerstone at the cafe
and remembered the last time
we passed happily this way.
The memory was hardly worth pissing on.
At the crossroads, we pondered our path
of uneventful motionlessness.
For a brief moment, our eyes collided in a shop window.
We groped hungrily at each others reflections,
caught between the past and oncoming traffic.
The walk sign flashed green
and our images pulled away, panting.
We strolled down the same way we came.

[MystyrMystyry]

Remorse and regret and - one more chance at what if...

This got me

But years of tepid coffee and brittle icing
left us both with a bitter aftertaste

And I choked on my caffeine fix

Reminded me of something I'd quietly hoped I'd forgotten, but the persistence of memory added the intensity of the time...


What a way to wake up

[Jerrybaldy]

Ships that pass in Delta's night and nihilistic to boot. I couldn't want for more vegimite .

[PrinceMyshkin]

I thought the last line was somewhat anticlimactic but how else could it be after the preceding barrage of brilliant, sometimes savage images?

[Delta40]

Wow. thanks MM Jerry and Prince! I'm trying to be a little more specific in my writing and I think this poem was able to convey some of its intent.

anyone finding using obscure/indirect imagery challenging and what do you find you're faced with personally?

[L€lä RËmØ MÅðçÂ]

Nice, Delta! Are you gonna come and see my stuffffffffffffff?

[Delta40]

I did. I'm going to try and keep my poetry simple from now on.

[Hawkman]

Bit of a shaggy dog story, Delta. Definitely had K9 appeal... It's a dog's life, eh?

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

I don't know why but I went from human to dog through this poem

[Hawkman]

Delta is werewolf! Delta is a werewolf! Read all about it!

[Delta40]

Delta is werewolf! Delta is a werewolf! Read all about it!


You will on the next full moon :thumbsup:

[everyadventure]

I especially liked the line about groping hungrily at each others' reflections. Oh the whole thing feels so hopeless, in a very appealing way.

[IceM]

Lines 6 and 8 were definitely magical, and gave me a sort of "Wow" moment when reading them.

I'm consistently finding in your work an "Everyday" appeal, where symbol choices and the poems itself reflect very common, almost pedestrian images that you're certain your readers are familiar with. It certainly makes the work more tangible, and on some occasions, much more powerful. I'm not sure if this is such an occasion, which is not at all meant to diminish your posting. I do appreciate the wit you demonstrate in crafting strong poems from simple images. I just can't decide if, on some occasions, the content too remains pedestrian, or if I'm searching for an ideal that sometimes isn't present.

Nevertheless, you're producing great works indeed.