Fading

[Hawkman]

The crack in the window caught the light
and he’d stare at it for hours,
through the weak reflection of a self
that lived within the glass, unrecognised.

Slug-like thoughts crawled
the neural paths where Mercury once danced
but now the weight of effort drowned
the vestige of identity and memory.

[Delta40]

I like the out of self reflection Hawk. The poem is laden with depressing sensation.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Although the whole of this has your customary stateliness, those last two lines have a weight that would break many a lesser man's back!

[Hawkman]

Thanks, Delta, and Prince, but I'm not quite sure how I should take that last comment :D

Live and be well - H

[Bar22do]

Not very cheerful, for sure. I'd suggest you erase the comma after "effort".

Actually, that self must have been recognised at some point, at least vaguely, for it is indirectly alluded to in your both S.

Does your poem confronts N's old age with his/her forgotten youth?

Sad but well put, best from Bar

[Hawkman]

Thanks bar, an oversight during an edit left it there. I have also changed in memory to and memory. The poem is about the progression of Altzheimer's...

Live and be well - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thanks, Delta, and Prince, but I'm not quite sure how I should take that last comment :D

Live and be well - H

Take it, please, as a very respectful tribute to the dreadfully sad but restrained expression of those lines.

[Hawkman]

Thanks for that, Prince. I was afraid I'd made it a bit ungainly.

Best, H

[deryk]

It's a bitter survival of a neurotoxin, if survival is even the right word. You've certainly done well at deconstructing the basic precepts of consciousness. Oomf.

[jajdude]

Good stuff, Hawkman,

I liked it.

[Hawkman]

Thanks deryk and jajdude :)

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

Did you ever happen to see David Lynch's early film,
Eraserhead? The refracted/reflected self-image which the speaker sees in the window crack reminds me of the strange sights the title character in that film saw in his radiator.

A worthy post, short and cryptic, but as all of your work,
interesting as ever.

[Hawkman]

I'm afraid I'm not really a fan of Lynch, Auntie. He might have some good ideas, but generally I've always foound his work a touch unsatisfying. Too much obscure imagery and symbolism and not enough storytelling, but then I have old fashioned ideas about what makes a good film. :)

Anyway, Glad you found this one "interesting" :D

Live and be well - H