Comments Appreciated .+Somewhere Here.+

[Angelic Devil]

I used to always write poetry to whatever I could see that appalled me. It has been a long time since I ever written something, because I think as I grew older I lost the time I had. Last time I wrote a poem here I was around 17 or 18 years old, it has been few years since then. So please comment if possible.
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Somewhere Here

Somewhere
Far from here
Lies the memory
Of that one true reality

Somewhere
Far from here
Lies a soul
Of infinite strong control

Somewhere
Far from here
Lies a harsh will
putting the world still

Somewhere
Far from here
Lies a wailing cry
shadowing everyone's sigh

Somewhere
In here
Lies a heart beat prayer
Filled with hope and despair

Cheers,
M

[hillwalker]

You explore a number of abstractions but don't provide that much in the way of substance. I found the repeated opening couplet quite inviting but you seem to have concentrated rather too much on finding matching end rhymes for each stanza.

'Of infinite strong control' is rather a mouthful (reading your poem out loud is always an useful test)

It's a pleasant enough poem but the underlying message seems to have got lost somewhere along the way.

H