The last dance

[julian94]

Let us dance.
Please do not be afraid.
Put your left foot forward
And hold my hand.

Waltz, samba or jive.
Any dance you want.
Any style, you choose.
Please, dance with me.

Do not care
That we sway the other way around
Or the times you fall
Please, lean on me.

Dance through this blinding light...
These sneering faces...
Be free, be happy,
Until the lights go out.

Sway with energy...
Move with passion...
Until the very end
Dance with me.


*Did this on a whim after a very bad and annoying day.

[hillwalker]

This sounds more than just an invitation to dance - I got the feeling the Grim Reaper was the narrator... or maybe that's me being morbid.

You sustain the metaphor throughout and I quite liked reading it - but I'm not sure about the 'sneering faces' in stanza 4. Where do they fit in?

H

[julian94]

This sounds more than just an invitation to dance - I got the feeling the Grim Reaper was the narrator... or maybe that's me being morbid.

You sustain the metaphor throughout and I quite liked reading it - but I'm not sure about the 'sneering faces' in stanza 4. Where do they fit in?

H

"That we sway the other way around"

This should give you more clues.
If you get the link between the two, the line should fit in with the others... I hope.

Mmm and death is a theme in this poem. That is the only hint I can offer becase I appreciate how other people view and analyse my poems and poems in general differently to my own perception.:D

[Hawkman]

I found this a very pleasing read; a good poem with measured rythm & pace. Definately enjoyed it.

Live and be well - H

[Jerrybaldy]

I can see the death in the piece. Do they dance the other way around as they are on the other side? Could be JC narrating or as Hill suggested the grim reaper or ... who knows ;) Good stuff.

[julian94]

I can see the death in the piece. Do they dance the other way around as they are on the other side? Could be JC narrating or as Hill suggested the grim reaper or ... who knows ;) Good stuff.

Hahaha it is interesting how the narrators you suggested seem to be the polar opposites with JC being normally perceived as good and the other as the harbinger of death. At the end they share a common trait which is basically they are messengers of death, a path to the afterlife.


I found this a very pleasing read; a good poem with measured rythm & pace. Definately enjoyed it.

Live and be well - H

This is an extremely good feedback considering the fact that I lack the skills of how to "technically" measure the rythm; instead I read the poem out aloud and see if it sounds the way I want it to be. Apparently as weird as it sounds it works :]. Thank you!