Birdsong

[hack]

Precocious Spring,
I am the nightingale,

Into your crystalline dark
I toss my song
and steel my heart
for no reply.

Blades of dry grass
and last year's dreams
pass unnoticed in the night.

The burnished bones
of Winter's winds
mark the time
of no reply.

----------------------------

for Nick Drake

[Hawkman]

Interesting image, hack - "...the burnished bones of winter's winds..." A very affecting piece with a lilting lyricism, but I'm not sure about the repetition of, "no reply". Anyway, it's good to read an offering from you again.

Live and be well, H

[Delta40]

I agree with Hawk.

Blades of dry grass
and last year's dreams
pass unnoticed in the night,

is very appealing but I would consider editing the repeated line.

[L€lä RËmØ MÅðçÂ]

For no reply, "desolation, abandonment."

Sorry. I am a tragic poet.

[YesNo]

It sounds like the nightingale did not find a lover last spring. I didn't mind the repetition of "no reply". It seems as if it is what is haunting the bird that this spring will be a repetition of the last. Of course I might have totally misunderstood the point.

[blank|verse]

A poem of two halves, this one hack.

It opens with a rather archaic apostrophe to 'Precocious Spring' (perhaps as a nod to the Romantics, who wrote often about the bird) and sets a strident tone; the first person perspective adds to the arrogance of the bird (although in reality, nightingales are very unassuming - and sing in long, fluid phrases (http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/n/nightingale/index.aspx) not single 'notes' like in the poem). However, for the bird to 'steel' itself 'for no reply' seems to undercut the arrogance with self-doubt. I wonder if this is pushing the anthropomorphism a bit too far here. How much can the bird really know?

If I'm honest, I don't like the line 'you are my everywhere' - it sounds like a soft rock ballad.

The second stanza shifts narrative perspective to third person and invites an environmental reading that Spring has lost its former 'precociouness'. An intriguing poem.

[tailor STATELY]

Interesting homage piece.

I checked out some of Nick's lyrics and did enjoy "Time of no reply" ( http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Time-of-no-reply-lyrics-Nick-Drake/E95E185EC61358EC48256AE800219C1C ) and others.

So short a life. sigh

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[hack]

Thanks all, for your reads and comments, as always.
It is about an early death. B/V if you insist, in deference
to the nightingale, I will change it. (Whatever happened
to poetic license?) Nothing wrong with a good soft rock
ballad though. Thanks esp. to Tailor for the link. Nick was
an amazing artist, me?, I'm a hack.:goof:

[Bar22do]

You're back, Hack, and this alone is a good news. Then there is your homage to Nick Drake, in two strophes left... It is deeply affecting. I myself was away for a while and it's a chance I found this poem, leafing through PP's pages. I'm late, but want to add my voice to the others' to thank you for this poem (am not sure about "you're my everywhere", but you may have alluded to Nick's work which I know little about).
With warm regards, Bar