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libernaut
05-14-2011, 02:51 AM
In The Arms of Aeon

Hissing snakes from the ground sounding through the wind
Sinking the flesh and chilling the spine
Mapping the synchronicity of time
Logos pulling arms through the blind
Light years of bending strands of veiled illusions
Peer witness to Aeon
Where she calls to he
Where she is
Eternally holding arms
A cup pouring water
Into the boundless sea

AEON OLD INTO AEON NEW

He took her hand in tranquility
The sound so blaring
As she walked him through the sharpest truth
Her nature spoke “All is right.”
And so it goes that in her arms he fell tonight, sunken
Bid farewell to the pain released into itself

Flowing pleasure heaven
He closed his eyes and all turned blue
So he walked into it
Vibrancy
Frequency

Perfect wisdom
Sophia unveiled
Blinding so fine
Vision realized too true
Fallen in love

ON CUTTING
Your doing it wrong
You break the shaving razor with your hands
Retrieve the blade
Your wrists tremble in reluctance
You slice them into beautiful red waterfalls circling the drain
You realize the pain is real
Emotional pain being meaningless
You get to feel something
High and delusional
You burn the blood unto thy internet
DNA satellites
Helicopters circle above
Dry mundane daze
You realize yourself in the mirror
Mediocrity and oppression
Neurotic depression
They all hang like raven wings
Look yourself in the eyes
Tell yourself
Continue to circle the drain
There is no such thing as rock bottom

The Furies
The shadow of a dead oak falls on the earth
The dead leaves whistling in a cold breeze
When the time is broken our ties to heaven tear like lies of untold fates
The Furies break through and wreak havoc on lives
The lines of reality to delusional nightmare
A storm clears in the eye and there’s a calm in the air
Wont habits and thinking to be destroyed and unlearned
Through creative method

Clarity
Eat the glass
That lies
Between your eyes
And the truth
Shining through
The oath is clear
Eat the glass

Trucidatio
Cum sanguini aquaeducti fluent
Ab viae sibi mortis consciscentis in aedificium eius
Oculi Romani Imperetoris firgidoris ad umbraculam videns,
Cornices umbrae contra luna in aedificii statae
Scelerae voces invidiis clamans
In Sanguini demiergemus
Massacre
The aqueducts are flowing with blood
From the suicide streets into their building
Their roman empire eyes stare at cold screens
Ravens mounted on the structures silhouette against the moon
Their wicked voices scream of hate
We drown in the blood

Bellum Temporum
Tempus cubare creatur igitur nos confusum
Vera ipse clara et non quaretur convesum socratum ita
Ex crepuscule et deltrium novorum venemini etiam
Deus mortem visum de speculo et nunc tamen vocabo
Hoc mundorum quaretis animas flammas exspiras

A Rune in the Ruins
The gaze in the mirror is lost and alone…
At first glance is a man in distress
His eyes start sinking and the pupils open deep
The flesh sends off heat and the eyes fade further to black holes in the face
The image transforms slowly melting expressions on a mask of unknown possibility
The face of an old viking a thousand years old
And the face turns mean and then smiles old and wise
Dark plasm flows from the eyes all around the mask
Shifting little imperfections of being one to another
It shakes itself off only to be pulled back in by the eyes
Again and again the pupils open up and the flesh and the blood turn hot melt the face vaguely
Now there’s a dead man’s face with brittle hair in his beard
His eyes dissolving the judgment and fears and intentions of living
The eyes turn liquid and the plasm stretches like amoeba, swallowing al of being slowly and surely
It grows and grows covering the house and the town
It devours countries and the oceans
And finally the globes all swallowed in deep space
Just as I swallow this fruit I throw out the peel
And it lay there for days and dries up
For weeks and it shrivels for months and years and its barely there but still something is left aimlessly wandering…
Like swinging a blade
and creating destruction
I dream alone at night traversing myself
The inner tunnels of the labyrinth destiny
Fighting just makes it hurt
Letting go so blissfully
It came time to do what I always knew I would
The journey itself the destiny, with the only reason being why
The battlefield for progress in a mind field
In the beginning together as one
I landed my ship and headed for home, the long journey home
And so it said “When you transist the OM it will soothe so sweet.”
Reappearing on the triumph of your virtue on the day we meet
I don’t know you yet
Or so it seems
so long ago
and so soon
we age older and older
And we are traveling the world
just to see “what’s out there?”
And “It this for me?”
Or “How about that?!”
I settle on the coast between to oceans
I write by the fire in a humble home
I eat modest meals and wander the rains forest
I swim in the rivers where poor children play
I soak in the sun and rest on the beaches
I never have the time for the life of me
I simply sit cross legged by the waves where the tropic summer stretches so long
The tide ebbs and flows in harmony like the wild fires in your eyes
We drown in beauty so out of time
And with the battle long over laying there to rest I see the joy and the pain all in good jest
Now the wind blows easy in the palm of my hand
And through the shape of the world I find my creation
The driving focus throwing the day dream in motion
Just as Archimedes the Greek constructed bronze cogs and founting water in Antikytheara
measuring the movements of the heavens
It must have broken his heart when it sank to the bed of the Mediterranean
Rusting and waiting to be discovered for centuries
And all the flames of knowledge from the burning books when Alexandria’s library was torched in antiquity
A fire that settled as the ashes we call the dark ages
And now there’s a spark of a dawning a new day
And in a fever my heart begs to be free
It all came down so fast I couldn’t believe
She spoke clearly
Her name Athena
And she’s guiding the exploding desire
to the twilight where the attraction is real
Before I was foolish, anxiously running from myself
Scattered and town like leaves and branches in fall
The gardens adorned like a puzzle so pieced sleep waking itself back into place
My aim was askew downward and inward to nothing
But hers was dead on and she hit the target with no sin no sign just two points in a perfectly straight line
The magic is gone and everything is clear
We both feel no fear
The building are towering
And no one knows what to expect
Sitting here waiting for the sun and moon to set
All flawlessly flowing in the sands of time
Just then a lantern was lit
I find myself in a dragons lair
where he lies sleeping in slumbers dream for Aeon
He barely awoke at my knock on the door
And mumbled “Just leave me be I’m sleeping til dead.”
I felt what he meant and looked down to the ground and started to turn around
It is here where the bone yards of men and their horses lie dead in the dust a cold and dark air blows in the cave and I wrap my arms around my self as I look down to the ground and start to turn around
and their horses lie dead in the dust
A cold and dark air blows in the cove and I wrap my arms around my self as I look down in the lake
The water is a dark and aquiesent with no reflection at all
Suddenly very far off a dim light appears
blindly making my way through those serpentine tombs following the growing light
I stumble on a golden room bursting open my eyes
Colorful painting and sculptures and cryptic writing
are all scrawled on the walls
In the center rests gold and silver and jewels
With hanging vined fruits for the hand of god
While outside in the desert vultures are preying and the carrion rots in the valley of plagues
But here a laughter flows melodious from the mystic breath of afterlife
And so it goes timelessly turning today as before and ever again
We return and the quest is a white rose
from your mother and father given to you a long time ago
That you thought you’d lost
You sought it out and found it here
A rune in the ruins of a broken mirror

hillwalker
05-14-2011, 07:31 AM
There's a lot to take in here - too much for one reading.

The Latin will appeal to very few I'm afraid - and I never considered it the most 'poetic' of languages.

On Cutting and Massacres worked best in my opinion, though I'm not sure whether 'thy internet' is a typo or an attempt to inject some archaic language into the piece (if the latter it's an unfortunate move).

In the Arms of Aeon comes across as over-the-top, melodramatic writing. It seems to be all about creating an effect of seriousness but contains a number of glaringly ungrammatical phrases and finally disappears up its own metaphorical ****.
Though I did appreciate the image of
A cup pouring water
Into the boundless sea

A Rune in the Ruins displays a lot of work and I'm unable to do it justice following one reading. Something I shall come back to later.

H

libernaut
05-14-2011, 09:34 AM
Thanks for reading. It's funny though because a couple of people actually told me they prefer the aeon one. And most people didn't like the ones you considered best. But those are the most recently written so they should be the better.

as far as aeon poem goes, in my defense love poetry is by far the hardest form of poetry to do. youll have to forgive my 'melodrama' but it is how i truly felt, despite how cheesy it may be.

i wasnt trying to sound archaic with "Thy", tho it wasnt a typo, if you read it that way thats fine. the/thy/whatever. was meant to be more ironic than anything.

Thanks for your honest opinion on it.

metaphorical **** indeed.