Deadpan
05-11-2011, 02:34 PM
The following short story is my first to an online community such as the Literature Network Forums... I've showed a few of my stories to a few of my friends but, you know, couldn't really get serious feedback from them... Any comments, criticism, plain likes or dislikes, would be very much appreciated...
Thank you and enjoy...
Devil's Night Heist
By Dead Pan
There was an armored truck heist of an unknown sum outside of Oakland Community College Royal Oak campus on October 30th that left one armored truck employee with a concussion and three broken ribs and another with a severed right hand. Police are still searching with no known suspects whom witnesses at the time of the heist couldn’t identify due to the pirate costumes they had on to conceal their identities.
The heist took place as the armored truck—Omni-Hundred-Proof Inc.—was leaving the OCC premise near the south east wing after securing the drop off bag from Sonic Hamburgers located inside.
“There were a brigand of people outside, maybe six or seven, some street biking and some skateboarding with their pirate costumes on. We never hinted anything wrong since it was the day before Halloween, until the armored truck nearly ran over one of the pirates on a bike.”
Witnesses say that when the armored truck took off, one of the pirates, who looked like Captain Morgan, did a one-eighty-bunny-hop in front of the armored truck, colliding with the vehicle. Witnesses say that the degree of the collision seemed innocuous, however.
Armored truck employee, Happy McDonald, accounts the heist up until before fainting from a massive blood loss from a severed right hand:
We were bewildered when we heard the thump sound; the guy came out of nowhere! Jared got out to check it out, while I stayed in the vehicle to secure the drop off bag It was protocol. Then all of a sudden, they (the assailants) jumped him. It started when a guy who looked like Lionel Ritchie with an eye patch and a pirate hat (he was either black or Mexican) hit Jared over the head with a fifth bottle from behind. I couldn’t see Jared soon after because they were all crowded around him—but one, looking back in retrospect,—stomping on him relentlessly. Fearing for my partner’s life, I got out of the vehicle and drew my service pistol, a Glock 22, and told them I will “blow their ****ing brains out,” if they didn’t stop. But then one them bastards cut my hand off then took the money inside the vehicle. For Christ’s sakes he even stole my hand!
However, that was not everything the assailant stole from McDonald. The estimated loss from the severed right hand, according to Omni-Hundred-Proof inc., was estimated at 265 thousand dollars: a chrome plated Glock 22, $495; a Tiffany’s wedding ring, $ 3500, potential salary earnings and benefits until retirement valued at $230 thousand dollars. OCC has not yet disclosed the value of Sonic Burger’s drop off bag.
A witness, who does not wish to reveal his identity, claims that McDonald’s assailant was of Asian descent and was wearing a costume of Monkey D. Luffy, the main character from a popular Japanese Anime called “One Piece.” The weapon used was a Japanese Samurai sword.
Happy McDonald and Jared Gogles were rushed to a nearby hospital and were admitted to a level two and three trauma unit, respectively. Jared, who suffered from a minor concussion and three broken ribs, is due to leave the hospital within two days. Happy McDonald, whose right hand was severed during the heist, is schedule to go through rehabilitation soon after.
“This Devil’s Night Heist, as it is now called by OCC, was a minor incident,” says dean of OCC: “Just some money lost, and a hand of course, whatever happened there (cough, cough). OCC Students and staff should feel extra safe from hear forward, for nobody is stupid enough to commit such a crime ever again, at least for another year. I urge you to become stoics and go on with your lives as if nothing ever happened, and I assure you that when the suspects are caught, (and I have unwavering faith that our city’s fine police department will succeed) I will personally make sure that justice prevails here in America: An Eye for an Eye. “
OCC and Sonic Burgers are together promising an award of a $100 in Sonic Burger food vouchers for those who are able to supply valuable information in catching the suspects.
Thank you and enjoy...
Devil's Night Heist
By Dead Pan
There was an armored truck heist of an unknown sum outside of Oakland Community College Royal Oak campus on October 30th that left one armored truck employee with a concussion and three broken ribs and another with a severed right hand. Police are still searching with no known suspects whom witnesses at the time of the heist couldn’t identify due to the pirate costumes they had on to conceal their identities.
The heist took place as the armored truck—Omni-Hundred-Proof Inc.—was leaving the OCC premise near the south east wing after securing the drop off bag from Sonic Hamburgers located inside.
“There were a brigand of people outside, maybe six or seven, some street biking and some skateboarding with their pirate costumes on. We never hinted anything wrong since it was the day before Halloween, until the armored truck nearly ran over one of the pirates on a bike.”
Witnesses say that when the armored truck took off, one of the pirates, who looked like Captain Morgan, did a one-eighty-bunny-hop in front of the armored truck, colliding with the vehicle. Witnesses say that the degree of the collision seemed innocuous, however.
Armored truck employee, Happy McDonald, accounts the heist up until before fainting from a massive blood loss from a severed right hand:
We were bewildered when we heard the thump sound; the guy came out of nowhere! Jared got out to check it out, while I stayed in the vehicle to secure the drop off bag It was protocol. Then all of a sudden, they (the assailants) jumped him. It started when a guy who looked like Lionel Ritchie with an eye patch and a pirate hat (he was either black or Mexican) hit Jared over the head with a fifth bottle from behind. I couldn’t see Jared soon after because they were all crowded around him—but one, looking back in retrospect,—stomping on him relentlessly. Fearing for my partner’s life, I got out of the vehicle and drew my service pistol, a Glock 22, and told them I will “blow their ****ing brains out,” if they didn’t stop. But then one them bastards cut my hand off then took the money inside the vehicle. For Christ’s sakes he even stole my hand!
However, that was not everything the assailant stole from McDonald. The estimated loss from the severed right hand, according to Omni-Hundred-Proof inc., was estimated at 265 thousand dollars: a chrome plated Glock 22, $495; a Tiffany’s wedding ring, $ 3500, potential salary earnings and benefits until retirement valued at $230 thousand dollars. OCC has not yet disclosed the value of Sonic Burger’s drop off bag.
A witness, who does not wish to reveal his identity, claims that McDonald’s assailant was of Asian descent and was wearing a costume of Monkey D. Luffy, the main character from a popular Japanese Anime called “One Piece.” The weapon used was a Japanese Samurai sword.
Happy McDonald and Jared Gogles were rushed to a nearby hospital and were admitted to a level two and three trauma unit, respectively. Jared, who suffered from a minor concussion and three broken ribs, is due to leave the hospital within two days. Happy McDonald, whose right hand was severed during the heist, is schedule to go through rehabilitation soon after.
“This Devil’s Night Heist, as it is now called by OCC, was a minor incident,” says dean of OCC: “Just some money lost, and a hand of course, whatever happened there (cough, cough). OCC Students and staff should feel extra safe from hear forward, for nobody is stupid enough to commit such a crime ever again, at least for another year. I urge you to become stoics and go on with your lives as if nothing ever happened, and I assure you that when the suspects are caught, (and I have unwavering faith that our city’s fine police department will succeed) I will personally make sure that justice prevails here in America: An Eye for an Eye. “
OCC and Sonic Burgers are together promising an award of a $100 in Sonic Burger food vouchers for those who are able to supply valuable information in catching the suspects.