It's Vanity, It's Not Love

[chipper]

Everyone has an innate need to feel important. That’s a universal truth. That is up there in the ranks of ‘we all need to eat’ and ‘we all need to sleep’. That is non-debatable and anyone who will say otherwise is absolutely stup!d.

That is why people “fall in love” with others. When someone makes them feel important and needed, they instinctively get attracted because their need is being met. They get the attention that they want, the knowing that there is someone else that gives a f$%k that they are alive, that in the billions and billions of people in this world, there is someone that would like to spend time with them over everyone else.

No one falls in love with someone that makes them feel like a worthless piece of sh!t, right? “Love” always begins with a smile that melts hearts or a hello what was just a little softer than other hellos or glance that lasted a second too long. It is always when someone makes you feel special.

Then you stay. You stay because you need a witness to your life as it is beautifully articulated in Shall We Dance. You need someone there to make you feel things you do don’t go unnoticed.

I don’t know if it is romantic but I do know it’s still about the self and not the other person.

It is vanity… not love.

[Delta40]

Do you think this perspective corresponds with your signature link?

[Dodo25]

People fall in love because it had been beneficial to gene survival in our evolutionary history.

[Sano]

No one falls in love with someone that makes them feel like a worthless piece of sh!t, right?

Really? I have many friends who are unhappy because they do fall in love for this kind of people; and having been in their situation mysef, I can confirm they aren't faking it. Then, at least not all of love is only vanity, which undermines the rest of your argument.

[Alexander III]

Really? I have many friends who are unhappy because they do fall in love for this kind of people; and having been in their situation mysef, I can confirm they aren't faking it. Then, at least not all of love is only vanity, which undermines the rest of your argument.

haha yea I think as soon as he said that line in his argument he blew his entire argument to peices. Oh and as soon as he said said



That is non-debatable and anyone who will say otherwise is absolutely stup!d.



You lost all credibility, and as a reader I loose all respect for your essay when you put in that line.

I am also guessing you have never almost starved to death, as otherwise you would not say that "feeling important" is just as necessary as "eating".

I cannot help but feel that you see the world as - I think this way=everyone else thinks this way. Just because for you "feeling important" is a necessity doesn't mean that it is for everyone. There are many who purposely forsake such things, and relish in the nothingness of themselves. Such as monks of all religions who segregate themselves from society in order to enjoy a simple ascetic life and mental and trancendal exploration.

[Buh4Bee]

To me, a bit cynical. I can think of a few older couples that have had successful marriages. Their love for one another is more than you describe as about the self, but about how they can be loving and kind to each other. It is a natural flow and kindness.

[libernaut]

I saw a taco bell hot sauce packet today that said "I love you but I'm not in love"

A woman had said that to me recently.

Made me think.

[G L Wilson]

The young are vain, everybody else is just old.

[prickly_pete]

Everyone has an innate need to feel important. That’s a universal truth. That is up there in the ranks of ‘we all need to eat’ and ‘we all need to sleep’. That is non-debatable and anyone who will say otherwise is absolutely stup!d.

Most people (though definitely not all) have a need to assert a good deal of control over their own lives, but there is no innate need to "feel important" in a vanity type of sense I don't think. This is a relatively modern concept.

[prickly_pete]

That is non-debatable and anyone who will say otherwise is absolutely stup!d.

LMMFAO!

No question. The master hath spoken!

[G L Wilson]

Most people (though definitely not all) have a need to assert a good deal of control over their own lives, but there is no innate need to "feel important" in a vanity type of sense I don't think. This is a relatively modern concept.

"Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity."
Ecclesiastes 1: 2

I think that it was Tom Paine who complained that Ecclesiastes sounded like a bitter old libertine. There is nothing new in vanity, just the old bastards change.