Hardy Country (revamped)

[Wendy M]

Hardy country

Some swallows
Near the old foot bridge
Line the roof, where river flows

Old thatch cottage
Nestles amongst roses
Stands alone in heath and furze

A bluebell
In the old cow grove
Sits so pretty in a carpet of blue

A shepherd
On Eggardon Hill
Tends flock grazing on pasture

A song thrush
In ancient woodland
Makes her nest to lay her eggs

The horse shoe
At Lulstead Cove
Perfect, shaped between two gems

Duke’s Arms
Along old abbey walk
With beautiful view of rolling hills

[blank|verse]

Again, this is a very pleasant poem, Wendy, and the tercet (3-line) stanzas are nicely constructed.

However, perhaps this is a bit too nice and twee for Thomas Hardy. There's a lot more emotion in his work - whether poetry or prose - loss and yearning, or death and violence, that this poem seems to avoid.

I'm sure you've read his famous poem 'A Darkling Thrush' - I notice a thrush appears in your poem as well - but even the title of his suggests the darker side of nature and life that perhaps your poem could do with including as well, to give a fuller picture of 'Wessex'.

[hillwalker]

Despite b|v's suggestion that you could add some darker tints to this in order to reflect Hardy's morbid side I still think you have done a superlative job of redrafting the original.

You have managed to capture the essence of another age when Nature was closer to man than she is now.

Of course, you could tweak this endlessly - to wring more truth out of it - but compared to your earlier attempts (not just on this particular theme) this shines with lyricism.

I loved it.

H

[Wendy M]

Hello Blank verse!

I appreciate and understand all that you comment, but I am not trying to write like Thomas H! I was writing of images of places used in his poems, but these are the real places, it works for me now, So I feel happy now with my re-construction! but thank you as always for your fine critique :)

[Wendy M]

Hello Hillwalker, thank you so much again for your fine comments, I am happy with my result this time, It shows the places used in his novels, but without naming them, so the reader can either identify if they have read his works or look them up! but, this is true to our countryside near to his home area and also the places he found inspiration....

I am very appreciative of your fine comments and yes I could tweak over and over, thank you both so kindly...:)

Wendy