Three things

[kittypaws]

never sure where to post some of the stuff I write...but here it is.

He approached the podium and gazed out at the standing room only house. A hush came over the congregation.
He cleared his throat….rrrmmmhh, cough, cough…he brushed the hair out of his eyes as he jerked his head towards the left.
The masses waited.
“good people, today I have a question for you.
What are three things in your life that can change the life of another?”
You could have heard a church mouse as the cloak of thought fell.
Then As if a bolt of lighting had raised them all - raised the good folks off their asses and voices yelled out.
Religion
Politics
Health
Money
Love
Nature
Kindness
The shouts overlapped each other in rudeness.
His slammed fist made the podium rock.
Glaring out over the people he opened his mouth but was silenced by a tiny voice.
“The three things I have that can change the life of another are me, myself and i. me, cuz I can send hope with a smile, myself knows the healing of giving a sincere hug and I ~ well I believe in the magic of benevolent.
No one spoke, they didn’t even shuffle their feet; their eyes were focused on the floor.
he looked out at the small child and smiled. It appeared she had the right answer.

[hillwalker]

Oo-er. I'd be gobsmacked if a little child could express herself as eloquently as this.

I get the message - look for the answer in the smile of an innocent child - but it's a bit too removed from reality to actually hit the target. And a little cheesy if I might say so.

But if you were looking for tips on how it reads - I'd consider reconfiguring one rather awkward sentence.

He approached the podium and gazed out at the standing room only house.

'... the full congregation' might work better. It took me a couple of attempts to figure out what you'd meant.

But I really like the phrase 'the cloak of thought'.

H :-)

[kittypaws]

H ~ thank you for the read and comment.

Reckon you never met a child the likes of me!

could you answer the question
What are three things in your life that can change the life of another


tough question if you stop to think about it.

The child is a metaphor representing innocence ~ a gift we all seem to lose.

:)
kittypaws

[Delta40]

I rather like the wisdom here. Perhaps if the character was developed a little further, maybe contrasted with a congregation member?

[hillwalker]

could you answer the question

my friendship, my time and my patience.....

ouch!, just dropped my halo on my toe.

H

[kittypaws]

thank you, Delta for taking the time to read and comment. I take it the character you are referring to is the young child?

H - how many times have I told you to wear your steel toe shoes!

:rofl: