Please Take Away Your Doubt（2 poems)

[yuka]

The Divine Bird

A butterfly flew away from my backyard
Never came back
Occasionally I would think of
Her graceful figure
More often
I standing at the window, waiting for
The divine bird that has never appeared

Please Take Away Your Doubt

Please take away your doubt, stranger
I do not yet intend to tell the truth to the people
That day will be no long
When the vessel finds a new course at midnight
The Stars will open the curtain for the ocean

[hillwalker]

I particularly liked the closing couplet of your second poem - a beautiful image.

The first poem is spoilt rather because the opening line is grammatically incorrect - 'flied away' should presumably be 'flew away'. Then you don't include a preposition to tell us whether it flew away from your backyard or into it or indeed over it.

But I enjoyed it as a whole; the way it creates an alluring image of someone waiting for a butterfly's wings to reform into a bird's.

H

[yuka]

Thank you Hill. I took "flied" as the past tense of "fly" when writing, and the preposition is "from". edited already.:yawnb:

[blank|verse]

Quite enigmatic little pieces, Yuka, which are perhaps a bit too abstract for me, but are pleasant nonetheless.

And you saved the best line until last:

The Stars will open the curtain for the ocean
Wonderful.

[qimissung]

I, however, love enigmatic poetry. I love the way these hint at things, and leave one wanting more.

I love the last line, too, Yuka.

[yuka]

Thank you BV , Qim, maybe really there is somewhat enigmatic. anyway thanks for comments.