The Passage of Time

[Delta40]

Tick
Tock
Ti…
Suddenly, three thousand Eveready batteries die,
then millions of two dollar plastic wall clocks
lose their tick.
For ten years all they do is
Tock
Tock
Tock
Like a collective knee jerk reflex.
Now the earth quakes, tsunamis cleanse.
Volcanoes erupt as if Mother Nature says, I've had enough!
and visits her own megacosm of terror upon us all.
So take that, humankind!
We cannot escape unscathed.
This fireball of truth on the 78th floor,
pancakes level by level and pins us down.
Trapped indefinitely between 20:01 and 20:11

[Jerrybaldy]

I smell politics or maybe its battery acid. If you keep getting so cryptic I will rename you Deltawalker or princemyshaussie.

[PrinceMyshkin]

One of the strangest poems to have appeared on this site!

[tailor STATELY]

Poignant. Yes, poignant.

I enjoyed this little trifle on many levels.

Brings to mind "The Matrix" in my feeble mind - re: the 3000; and who knows how many $2 clocks still talk from the "grave"- ever to remind as we stand, still.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[MystyrMystyry]

Enjoyable - a good title as well - love the digital readout pun at the close

The quake and volcanic imagery/turn is excellent and very effective

[Skia]

Oh it's bloody awesome.

Let me add to your ego dear delta as to say one of my favourites! :D

[Alexander III]

Tick
Tock
Ti…
Suddenly, three thousand Eveready batteries die,
then millions of two dollar plastic wall clocks
lose their tick.
For ten years all they do is
Tock
Tock
Tock
Like a collective knee jerk reflex.

I think this section of the poem is brilliant, I am not sure what it does but it creates a strong sensation.

However the second part o the poem in my opinion really brings the poem down, and discredits the strength of the first part. I think the poem would be much better of as the first section alone.

[AuntShecky]

(If the poem is meant to be light satire):
As in the old saying, even a broken clock is right two times a day.

(If it is a response to a harrowing event occurring
in North America almost 10 years ago):
It's a powerfully poignant piece with its use of inanimate objects (broken clocks) to depict emotional upheaval. (the "volcano")

Maybe it's both. Either or both, it's original, creative, and great.

[Delta40]

Thanks everyone.

AIII - I think the poem changes midway and I was concerned that its effect would be lost. I have edited it several times and am not entirely satisfied. However not to the point where I would delete the second part completely.

[Alexander III]

Thanks everyone.

AIII - I think the poem changes midway and I was concerned that its effect would be lost. I have edited it several times and am not entirely satisfied. However not to the point where I would delete the second part completely.

Yes I do see your point, and I can understand your frustration, it is just that the first part is truly a great piece and the second in comparison seems lifeless, mainly due to the sharp contrast between it and the former section. However I understand that by removing the second part the meaning of the poem is altered and no longer the poem you wanted to create. Tis a thought dilemma getting stuck in these situation which I can sincerely relate to.