Pripyat

[Hawkman]

Pripyat

You are predictable as desert snow,
Though time is short I always get my fill,
It doesn’t fall that often as we know

And even when appearing it must go.
Although in memory it lingers still -
You are predictable as desert snow.

And who could win the game, the die’s last throw,
Then bear the taste of such a bitter pill?
It doesn’t fall that often as we know.

There, seedlings from the wormwood plant will grow,
Now that is soil I wouldn’t wish to till -
You are predictable as desert snow.

A quarter century’s passed and still the glow
Which poisons many hearts with mourning’s thrill.
It doesn’t fall that often as we know.

An empty town deserted, not for show,
With half a life’s decay in windowsills.
You are predictable as desert snow;
It doesn’t fall that often as we know.

[MystyrMystyry]

Interesting subject Hawk

The repetition of the opening line creates the dual sense of never and an image of nuclear fallout (though I'm envisaging a volcanic ash snowfall - a Pompeii feel)

I'd change town 'deserted' to 'abandoned', owing to the 'desert snow' - it suddenly jars with both a different meaning and being in the wrong place

[PrinceMyshkin]

There is something so deeply affecting in the tussle between your fidelity to the villanelle and the apocalyptic awfulness of your subject.

[MorpheusSandman]

An excellent villanelle, Hawk! We don't get enough formal poetry around here, and this is definitely a wonderfully illustrative one of how to use the repetition in the form for such great effect (obviously, the line about "you are predictable" works superbly as a refrain, which then works in ironic counterpart to the other refrain). I'm not sure I followed the meaning all the way through, but I still greatly enjoyed your images and excellent usage of the form.

[Delta40]

I don't know what a villanelle is but I thought the cross stitching of alternate lines was masterful.

[MorpheusSandman]

I don't know what a villanelle is but I thought the cross stitching of alternate lines was masterful.It's just a poetry form. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle) Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_not_go_gentle_into_that_good_night) is probably the most famous one.

[Hawkman]

MM, Thanks for reading and commenting. Not sure why you were thinking of Pompeii, The title of the piece clearly places the subject's context. I see why you object to deserted, but I rejected abandoned while writing. If I was going to replace it I might say vacated, but for me the assonance and other similarities between desert and deserted aren't really a problem. A subjective response, I know.

Prince. Thanks for your observation. It was something I was conciously trying to produce from the choice of form. I recently heard a Ukranian "folk song" born of the disaster, and though I couldn't understand a word, the raw power of the music and voice were heart stopping. The "folky" connotations of the Villanelle were therefore intrinsic to what I was trying to achieve. I was afraid my wit might have had too fine a point. :)

Morpheus, thanks again for reading something of mine and for being so affected by it. I find villanells an awkward form to write. I tend to think in progressive narratives and the necessary reiterations of refrains make it a bit stop-start. The Iambic Pentameter, which I tried to maintain, and the rigid rhyming scheme also made expression complex. It is a demanding form, so I'm very happy that you think I did it justice. Generally an interesting exercise, and I agree with you that more presentations of formal poetry styles would familiarize us all with their variety.

Delta, thanks for reading and liking. Wickipedia can show you the scheme for villanelles and examples of many other forms. It's well worth a look.

Thanks again to all of you for reading.

Live and be well - H

[blank|verse]

A decent effort, Hawk, villanelles aren't easy. I wasn't aware of the history of Pripyat, and a quick bit of Wiki-ing means I'll have to read the poem a few more times before commenting more in depth.

[AuntShecky]

It's always a good sign when we see stars of the LitNet write a really solid formal poem, and when the form itself is an artistically intricate one, such
as a villanelle, that's even better-- a tour de force.

Choosing the appropriate form for the subject matter is part of the challenge, and this one is certainly fulfills that aim.

The opening line is "Disquieting" to borrow Bar's use of the word -- the conventional wisdom is that deserts by definition don't often have precipitation, let alone the frozen kind. (Not all deserts are hot, though--cf. the Gobi and Antarctica.)

I was somewhat familiar with the title location, as the main IP we use in this household ran a feature on ghost towns just yesterday. The place name of your title isn't as immediately familiar as Chernobyl, though; and using the obscure (almost "lost") name adds a whole new dimension to the poem. There are bits of word play and imagery in the poem itself-- such as "half life"--that were inspired.

The "snow" of course is metaphorical, perhaps referring to the deadly fallout from the notoriously tragic nuclear accident which occurred exactly 25 years ago this past Tuesday.

Every one of your posts is worthwhile, Hawk, but this one is especially noteworthy. Well done.

[Hawkman]

b/v & Auntie,

Thank to you both for reading and commenting. Glad you both approve. Auntie, did you pick up on the reference to Chernobyl? "The wormwood plant" Not sure if you're aware that Chernobyl is the local word for wormwood. There were people who freely interpreted a line in Revelations as fortelling the disaster...

Live long and prosper - H

[IceM]

Sorry I'm late on this one.

I didn't pick up on the Villanelle (I'm still working on the academics of poetic structure) but I appreciated every subtle nuance you had in here. The wormwood, the repetition of lines, the sustained rhyme scheme throughout, that the rhyme scheme was almost the same. Excellent job here.

[AuntShecky]

Auntie,

Auntie, did you pick up on the reference to Chernobyl? "The wormwood plant" Not sure if you're aware that Chernobyl is the local word for wormwood. - H

I knew it was Chernobyl, but said that the local town's name (the title of your piece) wasn't familiar. Didn't know about the wormwood, though.

[blank|verse]

I've still to come back to this one in more depth, Hawk, apologies for the delay.

In the mean time, I didn't know 'chernobyl' meant wormwood – but it does explain these lines from Robin Robertson's poem 'Wormwood' from 'Swithering' (2006):

A flight of loose stairs off the street into a high succession
of empty rooms, prolapsed chairs and a memory of women
perfumed with hand oil and Artemisium Absinthium:
wormwood to me, and to the sappy Russian sailors, chernobyl.

[Hawkman]

IceM: Thanks for reading and for letting me know that you got so much out of it. :)

Auntie: Well, we learn something new every day :D Thanks again.

b/v: No need to apologise old man, just greatful you read it, and thanks for the snippet of Robertson.

Live long and prosper - H

[Wendy M]

Well Hawkman I found your poem fascianting and liked it very much, thanks for sharing it :)