The Man I Want To Be

[_Paul]

There’s a box inside my head
To which she holds the key
In there I place my biggest secret
The man I want to be

I walked a lane in a foreign land
Amidst a wood of flowers, and birds
Who chirped at the incessant band
Of animals who scuppered my birth

Till seven years ago I hit a crossroad
A path of great beauty, colours and sound
The autumn leaves were brown and gold
And white rabbits were abound

Sun shined through the trees
Red beams of light, a sun gods reprise
That seemed to drown the scene
As though immersed in red wine

The other path lay in the middle of summer
Where branches and vines had overgrown
And every turn you took left you smothered
By natures great mysteries

The heat seemed to stifle till in matrimony
All living things became entwined
Each moving in perfect harmony
To a common goal I could not find

I sat for a while pondered and scowled
My ears tuned in to the birds songs
My eyes observing the animals prowl
Then chose my path

So please my love show me, me
Lead me to the man I could of been
For I’m lost now amongst a sea of misery
And only you hold the key

[tailor STATELY]

Welcome to Litnet !

Very nice. A few minor grammatical errors... poetic license.

Those white rabbits will get you every time. Just ask Alice.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Delta40]

The other path lay in the middle of summer
Where branches and vines had overgrown
And every turn you took left you smothered
By natures great mysteries


Reminded me of The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

[Bar22do]

Hey, welcome, this is very nice indeed! Hope that love comes to the narrator with her/his golden key...

Best from Bar

[jajdude]

Nice. I echo what Delta said. Had thought of Frost reading this.

I liked the title too, as it is something we always live with, wanting to be better people.

[MorpheusSandman]

There is a Road Not Taken quality here, and it's a nice little allegory overall. Although, I might recommend trying to regularize the meter if you're going to use end-rhymes.

[_Paul]

Thanks a lot for the positive feedback. The similarities to Robert Frost's A Road Not Taken were not intentional although the idea may have surfaced from it's presence in my sub conscious. I confess to not knowing much about meter, rhyme schemes or many learned poetry techniques being new to this. I may return to work on this poem and tighten it up slightly as I develop greater knowledge/experience.