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Tonyw4rrior
04-26-2011, 04:00 PM
Three small words


Steve came tumbling in through the front door, he stank of stale beer and a mixture of different perfumes.
Laura was sitting at the kitchen table she smelled of fresh wine and baby sick.
Steve swayed from side to side, he was having to use both his arms to guide himself down the long narrow corridor.
Lauras Vision of steve was like a swinging pendulum in a grandfather clock.
Steve reached the kitchen and to his drunken delight his adorable wife was still awake, he noticed she had been drinking, this made him even more aroused.
Laura stared emotionless at steve.
Steve mouthed three small words to laura.
Laura leapt out of her chair, and charged at steve like a bull charging at a matador.
Steve was to intioxacated and suprised to be able to fight laura off,in the tussle laura's half empty bottle of red wine got knocked over. A large amount splashed over steve's smart white shirt.
Laura instintively picked up the closet thing to hand, the two of them were still in a drunken daze spinning each other around.
Steve looked down at the clarat on his smart white shirt, his Drunkeness had imedaitely disapeared and his thoughts were as clear as day, "thats not wine"
The blood trickled down laura's hand and along the shaft of the knife, the flow of blood reminded laura of a passionate night she had spent with steve.
Laura looked at steve and mouthed three small words.

hillwalker
04-26-2011, 04:49 PM
A bit cliche'ed to be honest. No great surprise by the end of the story.
And the style - every other sentence beginning with Steve or Laura - S did this then L did this then S did this..... not much variety in the telling.
It comes across as something thrown together in a hurry (too many typos) so I'm not sure what reaction you are expecting other than - needs a lot of work to bring it up to standard.

H