Texting

[shawnk]

Hey:)
You text me today
Hey
I reply not knowing what else to say
So what you doin?
You ask
Lying on my bed, thinking
I tell you
What are you thinking about?
You ask me
I’m thinking about you. The way you look, the way you talk, I’m thinking about how your hair shines in the sun, how your eyes sparkle when I gaze into them. I’m thinking about how I lived before I met you. I’m also thinking about that night we kissed, just like I have thought of that night every night before I fall asleep and every morning when I wake up and every moment of the day. I’m also thinking if that night will ever happen again. That’s what I’m thinking about.
My finger moves to the send button, but stops
And I hit delete
I’m thinking about this math worksheet:(

[Jerrybaldy]

I like your style Shawnk.
At 15 I was busy writing poems about nuclear war and other worldwide crap (but, hey there was a cold war on, if a cold war is ever 'on').

I should have been writing about my every day world as you have done here. It will be queried as to whether it is a short story or a poem, but either way I really enjoyed it, it felt real, which is trickier than you think.

cheers
Jerry

[hillwalker]

I also enjoyed this little snapshot of a daydreamer stuck in maths.

It's probably stretching things to call it a poem (even though you do come over all poetical once you think back to that kiss) but it's not bad - certainly a lot better than your creative writing 'poem'.

H

[Bar22do]

Have enjoyed your texting!

Regards, Bar

[MorpheusSandman]

I quite like this piece too. There's definitely a tension between the short lines of "text" and the long prose-format lines that are actually far more poetic than anything else in the piece. It certainly speaks to a society so absorbed in the superficialities of life that they have to reduce everything down to 100-some characters on Twitter or a few lines of text. Language just becomes a see-through surface to see superficial "meaning", while anything actually meaningful is relegated to the digital trash bin.

[Pitchblack]

I like this piece. I think it quite inventive to use modern day technology as the medium for your "poetry"

[PrinceMyshkin]

What makes this piece fr me is the fact that he (?) decides NOT to send the impassioned text he mentally composes. The longer text itself wa quite compelling but the stuff of familiar romantic infatuation: the decision not to send it made it 'real'.