Spring Disquietudes

[Bar22do]

I keep wondering
where my dreams will wander
when I go.

Spring morning
bursts dry heavy beads of dew,
accomplice of the sun

and in the sun
I stare at my shadow - drunk
with the scent of lilac.

Lilac scented breeze
sweeps and sweeps, everywhere;
twists my shadow

in the branches’ and
under the sky swollen sharp with rain
I flap around, stray.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Oh, I worried initially about line 3 (not having paid close enough attention to the title) because I thought the morbidity might undermine the living fragrance of the poem, but I see by the closing line that both were intended... and how sad!

[IceM]

Beautiful images. This captures wonderfully a soft, idyllic atmosphere that I'm trying to find in some of my works.

Well done.

[MorpheusSandman]

This piece is like a breath of contemplative fresh air, Bar. I don't know if it's one of my favorites from you, as it lacks your usual dense richness of meaning and implication and seems a little loose, but it's also a very relaxing, strangely comforting work. I like the subtlety of the repetitions, especially between stanzas, or stuff like "when/where" and "wonder/wander". I also really appreciate the ambiguous ending, which is evocative without being infuriatingly artsy-fartsy.

[AuntShecky]

Hi Bar,
It's always a good day when your screen name appears in the Personal Poetry queue.

This latest posting reflects the season (though in my particular part of the world the lilacs don't really show themselves 'til late May.) Previous repliers weren't far off the mark when they saw a "disquieting" mournful note in this generally exuberant lyric, as the aforementioned blossoms served as the central metaphor on an elegy upon the death of Abraham Lincoln:
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174748

The only criticism (if you can call it that) about this piece is that even though "wonder/wander" is evocative and alliterative, it's been quite famously employed before, in a context appropriate to a different season:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Wonder_as_I_Wander

Apart from that, once again you've given us a breathy lyric that is "artless," the kind that can only come from hard work.

[Bar22do]

Thank you Prince, IceM, Morpheus and Auntie for your reading and comments. There is indeed a mournful note to this piece on the canvas of spring life renewal and apparently idyllic atmosphere that nevertheless reveals fragility and inspires a certain anxiety. I always learn from you, Dear Auntie, this time that lilacs have been used in how uneasy a context of A. Lincoln's death, by the illustrious Whitman! as I must confess my total ignorance re that particular Christmas carol! Sure my education suffers from terrible gaps and which your solicitude somehow fills in a bit... Thank you, thank you all, your observations are very precious to me.

Best as always from me,

Bar

[tailor STATELY]

A wonderful poem. It gave me poetic pause.

Thank you for sharing.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Bar22do]

Thank you Stately, best from Bar :smile5: