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Delta40
04-20-2011, 03:13 AM
'Do you have any idea what you did last night after the concert?'

'I'm really tired Josh, so if you don't mind calling back?...Later.'

The phone dropped to the floor and Ashley snuggled back under the covers. She didn't want to see Josh anyway. The guy was so possessive and she felt like she left him lastnight with pieces of her heart missing. At least she thought that was what happened. It was way too early to dig up last night. Eventually, the need to wee got the better of her and she rose then stumbled blindly past the note on the table.

Dear Ashley

Before you go out and LOOK FOR A JOB, please do the following chores.

Feed the cats
Feed the chickens
Wash the dishes
Put out the garbage.

Love you Mum xxx

Two hungry cats clawed at the flyscreen door and Ashley shouted out. 'Piss off!'

She sat on the toilet, her eyes trying to catch up with the burst of urine spraying in the bowl.

Another day, another demand from people who didn't understand. She took her meds and flicked the kettle on. She let the cats in who scuttled past her leaden feet. The note was leaning against a bowl of fruit. Ashley lit a smoke, screwed up the note and tossed it in the bin. **** her Mother. She was the enemy right now. The Good Charlotte concert had been a rave and she was still recovering from the night. JD and coke in three 2 litre coke bottles. The boys had smuggled them in with no problem. Ash couldn't recall how much she drank. Actually, come to think of it, she could not even remember how she got home. There was a bar. That's right. The group crashed it. A fragmented picture of her dancing suggestively on the table invaded her brain. No, Ashley decided. It was still too early.

The alarm clock blared from her room. Eleven o'clock. Cigarette ash fell on the floor as she plodded her way back to the room, tripping over her boots, bag and clothes. Bam! and the alarm fell silent. Her head spun. Her tongue needed peeling off the roof and she could only imagine she looked the way she felt, but ten times worse.

Where the hell am I heading with this? No place special. Ashley groaned and ran her hands through a tangle of knots. Well I'm going back to bed she decided. Her Mum was at work all day and her Dad wasn't flying back for another week. She deserved some peace after partying like she had.

Ricky. Where did that name come from? A flashback poured through her partial lobe.

'Oh Rick with the Dick, you're so hot. Lick me there, yeah right there. Oooh! I love you!'

Ashley grabbed her teddy and curled into a ball as if it would calm her heart rate. Wtf? Who the hell was Ricky and what was that memory that just flashed past?

She slipped her hand between her legs. Mmm. Tender. Puffy. Something definitely happened.

Perhaps a strong coffee with three sugars would help? Ashley rose once again and dared to look at her face in the bathroom mirror. Streaked eye makeup. Amy Winehouse would be jealous of this look for sure, she winced. There was a large purple mark on her neck where somebody had sucked the crap out of her skin. Ricky? No. Josh most likely. He was always giving her love bites. She danced with him in the mosh pit, hands in the air, her body pressed close to his. She saw him at the bar, shouting something at her. She strained to see past the fog of her hangover but Ashley could not remember any Ricky in the group. Alex, Josh and Steve but definitely not Ricky.

As she turned away, another flash sprang up and grabbed her by the throat, almost yanking her downards.

Big hands. Calloused and leaky blue letters across fat knuckles. She kissed each one then placed them on her breasts. She felt them maul her soft flesh, roughly, too rough. They pinched her nipples so hard that she arched back and moved toward his thick lips. Ashley couldn't remember his face. Just the drooling mouth, ready to go. She felt a guilty, erotic twinge and moaned. she fingered her lacy knickers.

The phone rang.

Oh Crap. 'What?'

'Are you alright sweetie?'

'Uhm yeah. What's up Mum?'

'Can you make sure you do everything on that list today'

'Aw ****, I just woke up. Give me a break will you?'

'I don't have time for your moods. Just do them. We've got visitors remember?'

Whose coming?'

'Jesus girl, your memory is so selective. I Gotta go. See you tonight.'

Click. Dead phone. Pounding head. **** faced teen. Ashley spouted off some names that she would love to say to her mother's face and then dug the chore list out of the bin. She glanced at it and mumbled 'whatever' and went back to bed.

At 4.30pm, she rose, a little more hopeful that life was not as bleak as it was when her first alarm went off. She was actually hungry and made some toast. Then she showered. No hair products and no make up. She considered the list. Thirty minutes till her Mum came home. Cats, chickens, dishes and garbage all done in lightning speed. She didn't give a crap about who was coming. Her Mum usually picked up Gran once a week. It was boring but she wouldn't hurt Gran's feelings. Ashley always behaved and dressed conservatively on these occasions.

She turned on her stereo. She applied cover-up to the love bite. Another cigarette and Ashley saw the headlights in the driveway. Two door slams and heels on the steps. Great. Mum was home with Gran. Ashley took a deep breath and tried to look sweet and innocent.

'Ashley are you there? Look who sailed into port from America on Friday!'

A fat wrinkled hand with blue leaky tats held the door open for her Mum. An ugly weatherbeaten man appeared, all smiles. Their eyes met. His hand went to his mouth. Hers dropped open. He cleared his throat. 'Well my my. Look at you. I'd never have guessed who you were in a million years! Come give your Uncle Rick a big hug.'

Ashley gasped. 'You?' Her Mum put her bag down.

'I just knew you would remember your Godfather. See Rick? I told you!' She pinched Ashleys cheek. 'I'm so glad. Your Uncle Rick arrived in town and was going to stay in a hotel but I insisted he come here. You two can catch up on old times while I'm at work.' Uncle Rick laughed and said he was sure he would enjoy his stay very much.

Ashley had another flashback. 'Kiss me you old ****er. I've always wanted to do this. I need to do this. Give it to me!' His slobbering lips devoured her face and Ashley remembered thinking what she would give to see the expression on her Mums face if she found out she was screwing some old geezer that she picked up in the bar after the concert. In an alleyway too. Her cheeks flooded bright red as she remembered how the guy pumped with everything he had in his flabby body. He crushed her against the wall. 'Yes! Yes! Yes!' Ashley screamed then orgasmed at the sensation of sticking it to Josh, to her mother and everything that was right and proper. He shuddered once, twice then buried his face in her neck, calling her a little honey.

'Is everything alright?'

Ashley wanted to vomit. 'I'm a bit tired from the concert mum. I think I overdid it lastnight.' Uncle Rick escorted her to the couch. 'There now. You sit down if you're not well. I've got a good ol seaman's remedy that will make you feel just fine while I'm here.' He smiled up at Ashley's Mum. 'It's sure good to be here again!' He placed his hands on Ashley's shoulders and squeezed her. 'Why I remember bouncing this little honey up and down on my knee. The horsey ride game. They were good times.' Ashley remained stock still, remembering the same pudgy hands groping her body the night before. She weakly replied as the nausea rose but it was too late to do anything. They both dragged her down memory lane.

'Ha, ha. That's right you couldn't get enough of Uncle Ricky when you were little, Ash. Hey Rick, remember how she used to ask you? "Horthey wide, horthey wide!". They both laughed. 'Why don't you two talk over old times while I make us all a cup of tea?' Her Mum left them alone in the lounge.

Uncle Ricky winked then whispered. 'Mmm mmm. I remember those rides like only yesterday.' He eyed Ashley just like a letching grey would.

Ashley squirmed inwardly and almost shrank to half her size on the couch. She so hoped this was a flash back and not really happening. In the background she could hear the lyrics 'Keep your hands off my Girl' She clearly remembered Josh yelling that at some point last night.

Uncle Ricky rubbed his hands together. 'So little honey. Tell your Uncle Rick what you've been up to.'

The room spun round. Her Mum should be her best friend right now but what could she say? Ashley bolted to the toilet.

MystyrMystyry
04-20-2011, 07:51 AM
Delta's cautionary tale - I couldn't help noticing that the last edit time was 3:33 am - half the number of the Devil?

It was well done, creating a weird feeling because but she's introduced as such a **** that it's hard to have sympathy - and then she gets her just deserts seemingly deserving of everything she got, yet who's fault is it? The impetuosity of youth, the rebellious age?

Nope - entirely her own - and now she has the memory of a lifetime to remember for the rest of her lifetime! Hah! Serves her right I say!

I can of course say this with moral imunity because I've never been so drunk that it's caused me to do anything regretful/shameful

:)

Delta40
04-20-2011, 05:21 PM
Alot of folk have had a night to forget...

MANICHAEAN
04-21-2011, 02:16 PM
Great Delta
Thoroughly enjoyed it & the way you got into the characters. You can always tell good writing, when you can associate with the characters, whether with appreciation or revulsion & forget the writer. If that sounds unappreciative, its not.
Well done.
M.

Steven Hunley
04-21-2011, 06:07 PM
This WAS good! Characterization is so fine and recognizable. Style is impeccable. Short and sweet. What could be better? Keep writing, whatever you do.

Delta40
04-21-2011, 07:15 PM
Thanks Manch and Steve. I 'hate' this drive to write! Poetry, short stories and now plays. I want it out of my life but after I create something, I wonder how I could live without writing....

I'm sure you both understand all too well!

Delta40
04-21-2011, 08:43 PM
Edited. Hope this reads better.

MrLightening
04-22-2011, 11:46 PM
So ... Just read this one :) I started reading this a few days ago and skimmed a little further, before quitting on it. After seeing such intelligence in your other work here I am back again, wondering why I didn't see that the first time round.
This story has some good points, and some bad points. The introduction of Ashley's morning routine is so unremarkable (albeit realistic) that it caused me to shut off. As I continued to read however, her character is properly fleshed out and the story becomes very readable. It strikes me overall as a quick snapshot of part of the girl's life; a snapshot of part of a story. I don't feel that it's finished. If it is, then I missed the moral significance of what has occurred. The exchange between Ashely and Uncle Rick is definitely confronting (and interesting) but it seems a bit far fetched that they met as strangers the night before, and their re-meeting the very next day. Even more significant, I don't feel that this fully completes the arc of the story. It feels like act two, and this story needs an act three.
I hope these comments are helpful ;)