Crazy Giraffe

[MystyrMystyry]

Ringgggggg!

The bell!

I leap out of bed

No I don't - that's a lie

I hit the ceiling

Drop back down to Earth

Bounce off the bed

Land pinpoint into my slippers

Bump like a pinball down the hallway

Open the door

There stands before me a large giraffe having a munch on some leaves

'Hello?'

It cranes its ridiculously long neck and looks me up and down

'Aren't you going to get dressed?' it asks

I look and realise it is right

'You're quite correct sir...'

'In which degree?'

'I aren't going to get dressed...'

'Oh,' it says, 'That makes sense...'

'Does it?' I start - 'Actually scrap that - who are you? What do you want?'

'I'm Mr Face-Ache and I've come for your hats.'

'But my hats aren't up for grabs!' I protest

I don't trust this fellow - something unnerving about how he only looks like a giraffe in silhouette

'Why do you have stripes and your colour scheme is is closer to the blueprints for the Kremlin?'

'Because I'm undercover,' he says shiftily

'I suspected as much! Er - as what exactly?'

'As a stick insect - see how you didn't get it? Clever camouflage this is...'

'Well I certainly wouldn't have picked a stick insect - I would have picked a giraffe with a loose screw!'

'Give me your hats!' he suddenly snaps

'No,' I explain succinctly, 'Get your own hats. In fact there's a haberdashery just down the road...'

'A..?'

'Hat shop...'

'Really? I didn't see it...'

'Odd - which way did you come?'

'From the South South Westerly direction...'

'Maybe they've closed down since ten minutes ago or... What's wrong with your eyes?'

'I can't see out of the left one - you noticed the patch?'

'Perhaps if you took the patch off..?' I suggest

'Interesting idea - I might try that one day...'

'Why not try it this day and let me get back to bed?'

I slam the door - not very hard - just hard enough to make my point felt

I go into the kitchen to brew coffee, and turn on the radio:


'Warning - Crazy Giraffe - escaped from captivity - do not approach - considered extremely dangerous!'


'You can say that again,' I can but agree, 'he wanted my hats...'



.

[Delta40]

I think the beginning is absolutely great - the way he wakes and bounces into his slippers! I feel like this is a carousel ride which sped up and got out of control, till I was flung from the giraffe I was riding..

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Delta

I wrote it late when I realised I needed a break from the story I was writing - clear my mind as it were lest I took a wrong, unrecoverable pathway into gnarly old twisted trees with eyes - trees that wouldn't let me return

[as it happened I took both paths - it makes it closer to a novel, but more engrossing]

[everyadventure]

Oh! I love! A talking giraffe!

This was a fun bit of imagery: "Land pinpoint into my slippers." I could almost hear accompanying sound effects.

This whole thing reminds me of the commercials for the satellite TV company, where there is a teensy tiny pet giraffe that sleeps on a golden pillow and has his own bitty treadmill... why do I so adore mis-sized giraffes??

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks every - yeah I dig giraffes too - crazy and cool at the same time - they've also got really long legs and strange nodules on their heads - have to find out about them...

[MorpheusSandman]

You're pieces are always a blast to read, MM, and while I may fuss over poetic particulars, I think when a reader can get this much enjoyment from a text that everything else should be a distant concern.

[zoolane]

Great poem This would good one for kids.

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou zoolane