Degrees of madness, incompetence, etc.

[Pendragon]

What I want here are expressions that deal with how foolish some one is:

Ex: Her elevator does not go to the top floor

Ex: He's not playing with a full deck

Ex: Their boat is sinking faster than they can bail

Good luck!

[MystyrMystyry]

Aussie/NZ ones include tinny (beer) short of a six-pack - six pack short of a slab (carton of 24) [this is nt nuts per se - but if someone is doing something nuts]

Kangaroos loose in the top paddock

One slice short of a loaf [for doing something nuts also]

Variations on these...

[Propter W.]

Ex: He's not playing with a full deck

A few cards short of a deck.

He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
He wouldn't know how to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.

[Lokasenna]

Two of my favourites:

He's about as on-the-ball as a dead seal.

If his IQ was any lower, he'd need watering.

[Shalot]

Dumber than a doornail...

What exactly is a doornail?

How did this phrase originate? Or is it dumber than a doorknob and deader than a doornail? Would a person who is dumber than a doornail actually be dumber than the person who is dumber than the doorknob?


And here's another one: She rode in on the shortbus


And here's another: He's a few fries short of a happy meal

[MystyrMystyry]

I'm not saying he's crazy but he makes the zigs align with the zags

I'm not saying she's nuts but a squirrel has stored her for Winter

I'm not saying he's off his rocker but if it had wheels he'd be flying through the air on roller skates

I'm not saying you're a psychopath - but go and stalk someone else for a change

I'm not saying she's a fruitcake - just the filigree cracks in the teapot

I'm not saying he's off his tree - but what's he doing on mine?


I'm not sure that these make a whole load of sense - but what are we describing here?

[Delta40]

He has a command of thoroughly useless information.

Not the fastest horse in the stable

Their ship is sinking faster than the Titanic

[Calidore]

You done sprung a leak in your dinghy -- Vicki Lawrence from The Carol Burnett Show

A few arrows short of a quiver

[iamnobody]

Crazier than a bag full of squirrels in a burning meth lab.

[Pendragon]

He got one wheel in the sand
His train is still boarding at the station (From Calvin and Hobbs)
If IQ points were hair he'd be down to bare bone
The lights are on but nobody's home