Did

[Jerrybaldy]

Circumcision
child abuse
religion
scoundrels refuge.
Poetry bubble gum
brain chewed.
Orgasm
little death,
life
not real.
I abhor you.
If we dont stay in touch
I hope we meet again some sunny day
So I can rip your f ucking heart out.
Here are some biscuits
with your milky tea
tell me an anecdote
I will smile sweetly
and figure just why
you did me.

[Delta40]

You manage to spout a tumble of imagery that is angry and hurt which could mean anything to anyone who reads it. Powerful and Jerryesque.

[everyadventure]

One of those poems you read and think, "Geez, I'm glad it isn't about me... wait... IS IT?!"

Baldy to a T!

[Buh4Bee]

My God, I hope it is not. For the sake of the forum harmony.

[deryk]

I just had a heart attack.

[MorpheusSandman]

There's an inexplicable power and sinister edge to the progression of words and images. Not overtly tied together through context, but more like a flashing network of memory. The fact that it goes from disconnected nouns and adjectives to complete sentences comes as a shock... almost as if all of the negatives behind the sentence "I abhor you." gets automatically equated with the speaker's thoughts about everything else, whether innately negative or not. It's almost genius in how it portrays something close to how the human mind actually works. Associations arbitrarily pile on tops of others, not because they're really related, but simply because how we feel in a moment spreads like a disease throughout our brain, infecting everything else, dredging up similar feeling-associations but also corrupting others that aren't related. A brilliant piece, Jerry.

[everyadventure]

My God, I hope it is not. For the sake of the forum harmony.

Ha, well of course not! I just meant he did a good job writing this poem... at first you feel smug, as though you're standing beside him with your finger pointed at the subject. But then, you have to do a double-take and make sure you're not, in fact, the victim! I found it relatable.

[PrinceMyshkin]

This poem
runs on 2 cylinders
in snow
or on hot Sahara sand.

This poem
is searching for itself
under the floorboards
of its maker’s imagination.

[Jerrybaldy]

Thank you good peeps. What is with the heart attack Deryk? MS I went on a nostalgia trip back to my first posting today and there you were giving amazing feedback, continuous thanks. Prince, trust you to post a response to outdo the original post, it is worthy of its own posting. Worry not Misadventure, it is not at you :) Nice use of esque Delta .
cheers
JB

[deryk]

Thank you good peeps. What is with the heart attack Deryk? MS I went on a nostalgia trip back to my first posting today and there you were giving amazing feedback, continuous thanks. Prince, trust you to post a response to outdo the original post, it is worthy of its own posting. Worry not Misadventure, it is not at you :) Nice use of esque Delta .
cheers
JB

So much fake dour sweetness and violence packed into such a small space. It's aggressive is all. This baby has teeth.