Poor thing!

[Brahma]

Poor thing!

The dark-hued mantis
kneels in prayer
Outside the doorway
of his lair,
And grabs those
unsuspecting creatures
Who don’t discern
his deadly features.

He bites their heads off
with a crunch,
And smartly works his way
through lunch.
Then, with his innards
feeling fine,
He takes a nap
till dinner time.

The wife of the mantis
is slender and fair;
He loves her fond eyes
and her shimmering hair.
But just when he thinks
his life is bliss,
She bites his head off
as they kiss.

[Delta40]

lol. They say ripping the head off the male during copulation causes uncontrollable spasms which enhance the ejaculatory experience or in other words, she brings everything to a head!

[Alexander III]

I love the precision of your line breaks, it really adds to the culmination of those final lines.

[Brahma]

Hello, Delta 40

What can I say?


Hello, Alexander III

Thank you for your perceptive comments.


Regards to you both.

Brahma.

[qimissung]

Praying mantis-what an ironic name,eh? they are scarier than clowns, I think.

[Brahma]

Hello, gimissung.

Indeed they are!

But then, life itself is one gigantic irony. Yes?

Regards,

Brahma.

[tailor STATELY]

LOL.

Clowns and Bugs

What if the entire
human condition
was as savage as
the bugs' world...
Clowns aside

tailor STATELY

[Brahma]

Hello, tailor STATELY.

Thank you for your comment/what if.

I personally think we humans easily outdo the bugs in our savagery. The bugs do what they do from instinct and necessity. We do what we do sometimes from necessity, but often for far less commendable reasons.

Just my opinion.

Regards,

Brahma.

[Delta40]

Hello, tailor STATELY.

Thank you for your comment/what if.

I personally think we humans easily outdo the bugs in our savagery. The bugs do what they do from instinct and necessity. We do what we do sometimes from necessity, but often for far less commendable reasons.

Just my opinion.

Regards,

Brahma.

Lol. I wish I had savagery when a giant wood cockroach skuttles past me

[MorpheusSandman]

This maybe your best piece so far, Brahma. A nearly perfectly executed lyric. For instance, I love how the sudden line break after "And grabs those" that leads to "unsuspecting creatures / Who don’t discern / his deadly features." emphasizes the quickness of the action. The verb "grabs" is situation a whole line away from "discern", mimicking the very action you're describing. It also has the rising/falling action of a tragedy: success/content/ultimate failure. Not to mention the nice little echoing of the two different types of biting off heads!

[Brahma]

Hello, Delta 40.

The cockroach will inherit the earth!


Hello, Morpheus.

Thank you for your analysis.

Makes me feel that I might be on the right path.


Regards to you both,

Brahma.