Lamentations

[Brahma]

Lamentations

I had a pet, once, then it died;
I had a friend, and then she lied.
I lost my money in the crash;
My car was wrecked in a freeway smash.
I’m unemployed, my prospects few -
O, woe is me! What shall I do?

But wait – is that a light I see?
The tunnel’s end? Well, glory be!

There lives a widow up the hill -
A sprightly sort, good-looking still.
She might just welcome my approach -
(I’ll take along my auntie’s brooch.)

Hold on a minute - not so fast!
There were some rumours in the past,
About the times that she’s been wed:
At least a dozen, someone said.

I don’t like this; I smell a rat!
I’m not the kind to fall for that.
She’ll take me in, all wreathed in smiles,
Then start to work her woman’s wiles;
And what began as board and bed
Will end up with yours truly dead.

Oh dear, oh dear, life’s such a pain,
Now I’ll have to start again.
I’m unemployed, my prospects few -
O, woe is me! What shall I do … ?

[MorpheusSandman]

I think the transition from the second to the third stanza is a bit abrupt and disconnected, but other than that it's another charming lyric, with a nice combination of playful frivolity and something darker and more sincere.

[MystyrMystyry]

I think it's an exuberant ballad, but there is something missing which could make it zing

The narrator backs out before exploring the possible consequences - if he'd actually gone there and struck up a friendship, in the process of which discovering the skeletons in the closet - well there would be your tale

I feel it needs an establishing stanza or two in the centre and then the turning stanza changed to 'I should have heeded the rumours...'

Cheers

MM

[Delta40]

I like the sequence which sparks hope only to be snuffed by the same thought process.