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eternalz
04-07-2011, 06:01 PM
Long ago
It was uncalled for
The extermination of millions of souls
Their lives taken by an oppressive force
Beings of hate and anger, and no chance to coarse
These people of earth, of land
They stood no chance when the storm of evil hit northern sand
What did they do to ever deserve such a fate?
Why were they the target of so much hate?
Could it be they were at the wrong place at the wrong time?
Like a grape on a vine
In the midst of winter
These people; friendly and kind
But when they started to die
They lost their mind
The white oppressive force taking their land
Then the people were outlawed and banned
They were peaceful, until the boiling point they met
They fought and died
For their cause they tried
Until the day
When the sunshine lost its ray

MorpheusSandman
04-08-2011, 03:46 AM
Welcome to Lit-Net!

One thing this has going for it is the passion behind it, but I think it's crippled by an inattention to the form and meter. When you use end-rhymes, you need to pay more heed to the meter, and you should also avoid certain more prose-like tendencies, as well as some archaicisms like inverting the verb/object order (like in "the boiling point they met"). But you definitely have something here to work with.