The Rock

[Jinian]

http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/7881/rockq.jpg (http://img695.imageshack.us/i/rockq.jpg/)




"Step this way, good gentlefolk, the cave tour's almost done,
The stalagtites are on the left, beyond them is the sun."

Emerging blinking, the guide took charge, directing them to dine.
"Most welcome, thank you Ma'am" he said, "and don't forget the wine"

Gesturing towards the tents, he pointed out their beds,
"Sleep is most assured when the pillow meets your heads"

At dusk the caverns echoed with the beating of the wings,
Circling, lifting, gaining height, with squeaks and chitterings,

En masse they poured in hundreds from every crack and portal,
Descending on the slumbering group, scores for every mortal.

At day a cavalcade of cars lumbers down the track,
As another one departs and nobody looks back,

The new all ears in interest with a kindly supervisor,
The leavers pale, dispirited and none of them the wiser.

[hillwalker]

A very original topic for a poem, but I'm afraid the rhyme has placed a stranglehold upon it to such an extent that at times it reads awkwardly.

The first lines of each verse read well enough - but the second lines are terribly weak because you have been forced to find words that rhyme and fit them in regardless of making any sense.

H

[Jinian]

You're probably right, I thank you for your comments.