The Way We Were

[Brahma]

The Way We Were

Fancy meeting him again,
that remnant of the past.
I thought I’d gotten over him;
was free of him at last.

Then up he pops in Martin Square,
where once we used to meet.
A decade older now, of course,
but my heart skipped a beat.

We stopped awhile for coffee;
I stifled back my tears.
And felt myself dragged back again
across the slow, sad years.

He said he lived alone these days;
he said his wife had died.
I thought about the way we were;
remembered how he’d lied.

He said they’d had a rotten life;
his hand reached out for mine.
So couldn’t we forget the past
and try a second time?

I said I had a plane to catch,
a client waiting there.
But sure, I said, we’d meet again,
right there in Martin Square.

The Good Book says we should forgive;
experience says we don’t.
Perhaps I’ll meet him as agreed,
but then - perhaps, I won’t.

__________________

[deryk]

The rhyme and metric scheme is a bit too over-wound like a tight spring. I'm not sure it does your subject justice.

[Brahma]

Hello, deryk.

Thank you for your response. Much appreciated!

I personally think of life as a series of moments - here ... and gone. And often, some of them at least, just like tightly-wound springs.

It's only in retrospect that we have the opportunity, the capability, and perhaps even the inclination to examine them more closely.

Regards,

Brahma.

[Delta40]

The tempo feels so knee slapping jolly and I hope that is the spirit in which you wrote it. If not, then consider changing the rhyme and meter. I like the story.

[MorpheusSandman]

@Delta: I'm not sure where the association of ballad meter and jolly, happy poems got its start, but a lot of poets have used it for more serious works, like Emily Dickinson.

I actually think it's a nice contrast, because the naturally lyrical, sing-song quality of the meter and rhyme with the wistfulness of what's being described gives it a bittersweet flavor, like so many of our memories are. I would only suggest changing the title, since "The Way We Were" is already so well known. How about "Martin Square"? Also, there's a missing beat/foot in the first line of stanza 3.

[Delta40]

Firstly, Listen to MS because he gives informative advice Brahma.

Secondly, the ballad meter is relative to the individual. Even if poets use it for more serious works, it is ultimately how the reader is affected by words, images and meter.

I am confident the next poster is just as likely to disagree but I don't mind at all since I am not an authority on the subject :biggrin5:

[MorpheusSandman]

Secondly, the ballad meter is relative to the individual. Even if poets use it for more serious works, it is ultimately how the reader is affected by words, images and meter.It's also relative to what's become associated with it unconsciously, which was where my comment was coming from. I wasn't trying to discredit or invalidate your reaction. We don't react to things arbitrarily, and I'm just fascinated by what makes people react to art in certain ways. It's probably what makes me a "good" critic.

[Brahma]

Hello again, Morpheus.

I had originally entitled this piece In Martin Square, but then picked up the present title from a line within the piece itself. And, indeed, it had occurred to me that this might be a problem because of its possible association with something already well known.

I confess that I was already aware of the missing beat/foot in the third stanza; I've pondered the problem on several occasions, but something else always seems to distract my attention.

I'll get around to both matters eventually.

Thank you for your interest and observations.

Regards,

Brahma.

[DieterM]

I actually rather liked the meter and the rhyming scheme (perhaps because I'm absolutely unable to make rhymes?) as they seemed to flow very freely, without giving an artificial impression (to me, at least). So much for my reaction to that, be it arbitrary or not. And, strangely enough, I was almost compelled to read the poem in the first place because of the well-known title. Maybe because I've always liked the song bearing the same title (Gladys Knight, mind you, not good ol' Barbra). And I found that the poem worked out very well; it doesn't tell exactly the same story but wears that same bitter-sweet nostalgia that you so perfectly shrug off in your last lines. I really liked your poem a lot, Brahma. Don't hesitate to post your revision as soon as you have the time to think over that 3rd stanza...