Inspired By Delta - Not Liked By Delta

[MystyrMystyry]

Hers was a '69 number
Back when e-type meant
Fast
And the hot exhaust burnt
the wings off a stray moth
Dead
Spiralling through the vortex

She drops the clutch but
The wheels don't squeal
Rain
Causes a wave to splatter
Filthy water over some kid
Who
Shouldn't have been in her wake

The transport arrives to carry
The oldies away to boot camp
Guns!
They're unhappy but they'll
Soon learn happiness after
Jackboots
Break a few spirits and bones

The driver hates his job but
He can't escape the contract
Dreams
He wanted marriage and family
Before the Government changed
Never
Again will he vote against them

Help! cries a desperado running
Onto the road as the car overtakes
Transport
But is seen too late and brakes
Fail in the wet - a skid a thud a roar
She's
Fled and driver's driving himself to oblivion
Through the bitc h's black smoke

[deryk]

Well, I liked it, but I think we're treading into a grey area of ownership. This is distinctly yours, but what about the last alterations? I don't even consider Ozymandias as belonging to Shelley.

Your version roars through like a cruel smile, and I appreciate every ounce of energy, but it doesn't recapture Delta's poem. I guess you own it, or was that never the question?

[MystyrMystyry]

Well it wouldn't have been written at all if it hadn't been for the re-edit thread and Cunning re-imagining it. So I figured after no-one responded, and Delta began a new thread about what isn't poetry I'd remove it and put it up for anyone vaguely interested - so I put Delta's name in twice to minimise confusion as to what and why


Though of course I immediately had second thoughts I should have had before doing anything


qimi can remove it if she likes

[Delta40]

I don't mind MM. I do like it. I think the edit thread should edit the original and perhaps the next poster should edit the revised version above them!

[MystyrMystyry]

Yeah but I don't want be the bastard who killed the thread :)

[Delta40]

lol. Well what are you doing posting here? Get back there boy!

[MystyrMystyry]

I'll get back there ;) - I've just been there a bit too often today - I need to indulge in a bit of classic Dark Muse for awhile