Wishful Thoughts

[free]

This morning I saw your face
Mirroring in the lake so far
Just now I’ve seen your words
Sounding with nature’s strings

You hide and you play with them
You bow and you jump
Your shining locks dance in the wind
garlanding the stars in your eyes

Charmed by this glittering treasure
I make a wish and wonder
Is there something wrong with me
To have these wishful thoughts of thee

[MorpheusSandman]

A lovely, elegant piece that plays on one of my favorite themes of distantly observed, appreciated, celebrated beauty. My only criticisms is that the last line of the second stanza reads rather awkwardly, and I'm not sure I like the closing couplet, especially with the inclusion of the archaic thee.

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed your poem very much free.

I might hazard offering a small edit from: "To have the wishful thoughts of thee"
to 'To have these wistful thoughts of thee'

IMHO the archaic use of 'thee' is appropriate in the classical tone of your poem. The mood set conjures up images of Apollo, or Calliope, or perhaps Erato as the poet ( as I envision the word-smith ) cavorting with his, or her, wordplay.

Sincerely,
tailor STATELY

[free]

Thanks for reading and for advices. Yes, Morph., I first thought of writing an ordinary YOU there, but then, I don't know, something made me put the archaic form of it, as Tail. said, maybe because of the classic colour of the poem. And, thanks for THESE-suggestion, Tail., it is more appropriate, I see.