True Friend

[Delta40]

There's shadows on my face
too brilliant for me even than light.
I would be ignorant never to know
just how hard it is to paint
all the textures of this life.

As my meanings lose their shape
the landscape starts to change
I'm staring through smudged windows
searching for a beauty inside.

Let me stand here in your light.

I change all the time.
I'm crossing over and moving within
Caught in a torrent of these words
yet washed up by a silent lake.

Sometimes I can't flow natural
I know I'm not innocent.
I'm too controlled and so enacted
yet my world is undefined.

Let me bathe here in your sight.

When the heights become too daunting
in the chasms of my mind
I lose myself and spiral downward
till I'm back where I started from.

Let me hold onto you tight.

[deryk]

Intensity of light and dark, but maybe not enough shadow-play. Either way, I wish I had one of those things. Blake's rhymed "endless night" with "sweet delight" sprang to mind when I read this. There are some heavy contrasts here. If only I could be born into the latter.

[MystyrMystyry]

Excellent, Delta

This sounded an open and honest declaration of a friendship. I like the imagery and fountain-flow of the words, and you've included the fleet-footed feeling of self-doubt too - that sense that one gets wondering if another party really has the same emotional response as oneself

I think you've spoken for everyone in this one, Buddy

[Jerrybaldy]

always prevocative. F uck it . You wanna dance?

[PrinceMyshkin]

That last line is a disappointment, too sober and bland after the intensity of so much that came before it. Sometimes the lines verge on being too literal, unlike here


Sometimes I can't flow natural
I know I'm not innocent.
I'm too controlled and so enacted
yet my world is undefined.

Let me bathe here in your sight.


where they are both apparently spontaneous and yet much elevated.

[Delta40]

this is an adaptation of a song I wrote an recorded.. It has been hard to read it like poetry since I know the tune but I wondered if it would work as such. It doesn't!

thanks for the comments.