MystyrMystyry
03-17-2011, 02:50 AM
So I'm having this incredibly involved nightmare about obtaining some heroin for some unspecified reason - all sort of guilt-ridden, and weird shady characters in a noir setting. Suddenly I'm wide awake and there's this bastard sharp pain in my mouth. The clock tells me it's 4 am and the sky outside confirms this. I brush my teeth and really try to cram the stuff in the affected area while preparing a cup of warm coffee because I realise I'm going to have no chance of getting back to sleep with the throbbing tingle going on. I activate the computer and tune the television to one of the morning news programs.
The toothpaste appears to have done its trick as the pain has most definitely subsided.
I read the headlines on my homepage and follow a link to the workings and construction of a nuclear reactor, in particular the Japanese one. But the pain has returned, though not full blast, just warming its engines.
I'm thinking about the lat time I had a toothache, and the solution. I remember accidentally discovering a cure at a franchise pizzaria and putting it down to the high salt content.
I'm back in the kitchen with a glass of tepid salty solution rinsing out the cavity, which works temporarily, so I'm doing this back and forth while now beginning to desperately search for solutions to my ailment on the Wonderfully Wacky Webnet.
Everyone's either a comedian or a salesman and yahoo is sending me to brochure after brochure for toothpaste after toothpaste, goggle's got me scouring home dental nurse kits (which seems quite a nifty investment except for it being this time of morning - you get a type of spackfiller which once crammed into the hole sets and hardens - no chewing and eating for an hour however) and Bing's led me to a site about some joker putting superglue in there.
None of this is any practical use, and I return to the kitchen cupboard for more salt, which I'd planned to use in its purity this time, and lo and behold I see it - a little jar of cloves purchased before curing myself last time.
When you chew on a clove it has two effects: one is that it's disgusting, but the other is that it has an anaesthetic quality which kills the pain.
So I'm munching away and everything begins to turn rosy again and I'm quite fine for about an half an hour - until I pour another coffee when the pain springs delightfully back into existence at full fury.
I don't want to hit the panadeine just yet however - that's a real last resort, so I've tried salt, cloves, and toothpaste and I want a nice flavour beyond the cure and I recall this peppermint toothpaste I have in the bathroom cabinet which, though horrible, does have some virtue for ultra mouth freshening, your teeth actually feel polished afterwards.
Would you believe it, it works like magic - so I get thinking maybe there's something in this fluoride business after all, and it's not just a sales pitch. But hang on, I've already tried the other paste and that was only a short term solution, so it's going to be a matter of time before it flares up again, and at what force is anyone's guess.
There was something I was missing. So I began thinking about what kind of pizza it was, what makes a pizza? Salty anchovies - was that it? But how could they contain more salt than salt? No. perhaps it was the combination of all the ingredients making one super molecule? Well that just doesn't make sense.
Garlic! of course! My personal favorite cure all of them all!
I'm never without so I set to task peeling away at the skin, slightly difficult with an awkwardly chipped thumbnail (another, unrelated, tale) and chop a piece in half. I commence rubbing the article into my gum and all around the tooth thinking that this may perhaps be the antibacterial that shall kill the germs that are leeching calcium and spewing acid into the space.
Forget it - the only result is I'm now with burning gum and the toothache is once more on the warpath.
There exist a handful of Anglo-Saxon swearwords which are perfectly suited to moments like this. I used them all repeatedly in my new desperation for a cure.
It does occur to me that the coffee isn't helping matters so I put another one off for the time being. It is now 5 10 and I am really sleepy. But this is neither here nor there, as I won't be getting any slumber until I fix this situation.
I remember something a friend of my mother's once said about putting a piece of doughy bread in the cave to block it for a while. So I attack the loaf. Desperate times call for any action possible, and this is hardly going to be any worse than my previous attempts at happiness.
Not much effect to no discernible effect whatsoever.
Disappointed I return to the computer with a clove (not garlic!) in my gob chewing away, in full knowledge I have virtually an entire jar of them until the pharmacy opens at nine. But I'll probably go the a dentist in preference and just get the job done properly, rather than enter a cycle of procrastination
and prolonging the inevitable.
Now awake and alert but tired and hungry, with no answer to my quest in sight, I try to think what I could eat that won't re-energise the irritation.
Salami salad comes to mind - I have all the ingredients, and I can even warm them slightly to evade any coldness hitting where it hurts.
Lettuce, fresh chili, olives, mixed nuts, cashews, cheese, and above all salami.
I do the chop, and an extra slice of cheese for a mini-snack.
CHEESE!
It's the thing that cured me - it's abundant in calcium and when munched thoroughly the human organism knows how to utilise it to repair teeth.
It's working. I have another piece, and I can tell that this inconspicuously mundane, everyday item that we consume for the taste and hell of it is working its magic.
It's now twelve hours later, I've had a sound sleep, and no sign of the toothache returning to rear its ugly.
Cheese, my friends, cheese - never be without it.
The toothpaste appears to have done its trick as the pain has most definitely subsided.
I read the headlines on my homepage and follow a link to the workings and construction of a nuclear reactor, in particular the Japanese one. But the pain has returned, though not full blast, just warming its engines.
I'm thinking about the lat time I had a toothache, and the solution. I remember accidentally discovering a cure at a franchise pizzaria and putting it down to the high salt content.
I'm back in the kitchen with a glass of tepid salty solution rinsing out the cavity, which works temporarily, so I'm doing this back and forth while now beginning to desperately search for solutions to my ailment on the Wonderfully Wacky Webnet.
Everyone's either a comedian or a salesman and yahoo is sending me to brochure after brochure for toothpaste after toothpaste, goggle's got me scouring home dental nurse kits (which seems quite a nifty investment except for it being this time of morning - you get a type of spackfiller which once crammed into the hole sets and hardens - no chewing and eating for an hour however) and Bing's led me to a site about some joker putting superglue in there.
None of this is any practical use, and I return to the kitchen cupboard for more salt, which I'd planned to use in its purity this time, and lo and behold I see it - a little jar of cloves purchased before curing myself last time.
When you chew on a clove it has two effects: one is that it's disgusting, but the other is that it has an anaesthetic quality which kills the pain.
So I'm munching away and everything begins to turn rosy again and I'm quite fine for about an half an hour - until I pour another coffee when the pain springs delightfully back into existence at full fury.
I don't want to hit the panadeine just yet however - that's a real last resort, so I've tried salt, cloves, and toothpaste and I want a nice flavour beyond the cure and I recall this peppermint toothpaste I have in the bathroom cabinet which, though horrible, does have some virtue for ultra mouth freshening, your teeth actually feel polished afterwards.
Would you believe it, it works like magic - so I get thinking maybe there's something in this fluoride business after all, and it's not just a sales pitch. But hang on, I've already tried the other paste and that was only a short term solution, so it's going to be a matter of time before it flares up again, and at what force is anyone's guess.
There was something I was missing. So I began thinking about what kind of pizza it was, what makes a pizza? Salty anchovies - was that it? But how could they contain more salt than salt? No. perhaps it was the combination of all the ingredients making one super molecule? Well that just doesn't make sense.
Garlic! of course! My personal favorite cure all of them all!
I'm never without so I set to task peeling away at the skin, slightly difficult with an awkwardly chipped thumbnail (another, unrelated, tale) and chop a piece in half. I commence rubbing the article into my gum and all around the tooth thinking that this may perhaps be the antibacterial that shall kill the germs that are leeching calcium and spewing acid into the space.
Forget it - the only result is I'm now with burning gum and the toothache is once more on the warpath.
There exist a handful of Anglo-Saxon swearwords which are perfectly suited to moments like this. I used them all repeatedly in my new desperation for a cure.
It does occur to me that the coffee isn't helping matters so I put another one off for the time being. It is now 5 10 and I am really sleepy. But this is neither here nor there, as I won't be getting any slumber until I fix this situation.
I remember something a friend of my mother's once said about putting a piece of doughy bread in the cave to block it for a while. So I attack the loaf. Desperate times call for any action possible, and this is hardly going to be any worse than my previous attempts at happiness.
Not much effect to no discernible effect whatsoever.
Disappointed I return to the computer with a clove (not garlic!) in my gob chewing away, in full knowledge I have virtually an entire jar of them until the pharmacy opens at nine. But I'll probably go the a dentist in preference and just get the job done properly, rather than enter a cycle of procrastination
and prolonging the inevitable.
Now awake and alert but tired and hungry, with no answer to my quest in sight, I try to think what I could eat that won't re-energise the irritation.
Salami salad comes to mind - I have all the ingredients, and I can even warm them slightly to evade any coldness hitting where it hurts.
Lettuce, fresh chili, olives, mixed nuts, cashews, cheese, and above all salami.
I do the chop, and an extra slice of cheese for a mini-snack.
CHEESE!
It's the thing that cured me - it's abundant in calcium and when munched thoroughly the human organism knows how to utilise it to repair teeth.
It's working. I have another piece, and I can tell that this inconspicuously mundane, everyday item that we consume for the taste and hell of it is working its magic.
It's now twelve hours later, I've had a sound sleep, and no sign of the toothache returning to rear its ugly.
Cheese, my friends, cheese - never be without it.