The Vulture

[sundarramchand]

Like cells in an organism or leaves in a tree,

Flame like,

The vulture rises

On the wings of fire nay light

That nourishes as in photosynthesis

Opening up like a multi-layered lotus like umbrella

Streamlined and gliding through the sky as a leaf through the cosmic ocean

A peaceful symbol of needless war

Wiser than the denizens of the earth below,

It abides,

Resting on the matted tree-locks of mother earth

Part of the whole

“They also serve who only stand (fly !!) and wait “

[deryk]

"flame-like"? That hyphen actually set my reading back, believe it or not.
This poem is sort of kaleidoscopic in the way you've taken the image of the vulture and diffused it into so many images that aren't easily traceable (maybe even totally unrelated). I thought "multi-layered" was wordy, you could say "umbrella lotus" and convey the same effect. I still haven't gotten my mind around "a peaceful symbol of a needless war". I'm trying! That might be a great line. Pretty cosmic work.

[Delta40]

I find each time I read poetry like this I am humbled, simply because it goes beyond my read of understanding. It's beautiful and yet I cannot decipher it? What does such a critique mean for you?

[IceM]

It's a wonderful image of a vulture--"wings...opening up like a multi-layered lotus." I just wonder if you compromised the integrity of the poem for complexity. This could have been more efficient.

[sundarramchand]

Thanks a lot !!

I have found a lot of papers and scientific / abstract literature that i feel or rather knew contained great ideas which i was not able to fully comprehend initially but as i kept reading, my understanding improved. After all this is poetry that deals with a more intangible subject.

Also, relating to logic and imagination, i feel basic syllogistic logic (i am not confusing logic with thinking in general or even mathematics) is a very simple exercise. Everything depends on how good your basic motifs and operations are and good your aesthetic judgement is and how broad your knowledge is. That is what distinguishes people.

[sundarramchand]

Thanks !!

The whole poem arose out of a set of ideas / images which , in my mind formed a coherent whole. "peaceful symbol of needless war" arose from the reputation of the bird as a patient / calm scavenger found in places such as battlefield where there is death.

Yes, "umbrella lotus" may have been smpler

[sundarramchand]

"multi-layered" was put intentionally to convey a specific image i had in mind.

[sundarramchand]

Re : Pindar .....


"And hence of impossibility ;
leaving eternity to explore significance"

[deryk]

Re : Pindar .....


"And hence of impossibility ;
leaving eternity to explore significance"

Precisely.

[sundarramchand]

Re : Pindar,

I could also add ideally, without moving a muscle !!!:-)