An Event

[MystyrMystyry]

A pleasant memory from long ago


Just a drive to the hills


In a car full of friends


At our random destination


We stretched our legs


A dried-out creek bed


I threw a stone in and it


CLACKED!


Much louder than expected


And then, disturbed, a vast flock


Of Monarch butterflies erupted


In silence from hiding


Thousands upon thousands


A vast red and black cloud


It was Incredible

[deryk]

I like the distribution of sound over the event of color. I feel the poem really succeeds at producing a good kind of synesthesia. I'm not sure what to make of the form yet, I think it ultimately sustains that good quality, but it deflates a bit at the beginning.

[MystyrMystyry]

The opening scene was to provide contrast - it was actually two pleasant memories, but the drive through the hills wasn't in itself a poem - I mean it could have been, but thinking too much about last year isn't really my thing - standout unique moments and discoveries are what supply interest to the norm

I'm not really into pastoral poetry Wordsworth style - it's strange writing about it, though I like nature and forests, waterfalls and mountain lakes, and everything healthy and good, I don't really want to sit and write about it

A night out fishing, a weekend on a farm, a holiday to another town - I want an event to make the okay become something else. In this it was the opposite - the nature became the event, and believe me, it really was AN EVENT