MystyrMystyry
03-11-2011, 04:40 AM
My landlord's a tool
An unholy fool
Who can't desist
But pestering me
All day long he bangs around
When I say all day - he's unsound!
And on weekends it's even worse
A bloody curse - too long I agree
He arrives first at six am
And is here until six pm
(On a Saturday and a Sunday!)
I swear he is driving me nuts
I'd move out - but the cheap rent!
The only other option's a tent
Without all the cons
Nor the mods - like in huts
He fills my bins with his
rubbish and it's of this
I get furious for there's no
Room for mine and it's bad
That he makes no distinction
Of recycling and has no inklin'
That his crap upsets the process
Of doing their job - and it's sad
Also that his eyes have lost colour
Which reflects a grey pallour
And his marbles have fled
Far to the distant sea
But I feel no sympathy
Because it's wasted empathy
And I deserve a landlord
Deserving of someone like me
There's a palace of trees
Which would certainly please
Though a price out of my range
I shall work hard to attain it
And then when I move in
My own house I will groove in
With allnight parties and dancing
But first I must obtain it
So for now I put my head down
Before I can go to town
And do all that must be done
Long beforehand
Though rates are atrocious
And utilities ferocious
The cost of peace one answer:
I need to own my own land
To get away from this annoyance
Who's upsetting my buoyance
And pissing me something rotten
Either that or pull a 51-50
Which'd be best in this case
Because I'm sick of his face
His voice, his lingering, his noise
And incessant demands on my sanity!
This is part of a quintet - the others are My *************** Landlord, My Landlord is a *******************, and Would You **** Off You **********************
An unholy fool
Who can't desist
But pestering me
All day long he bangs around
When I say all day - he's unsound!
And on weekends it's even worse
A bloody curse - too long I agree
He arrives first at six am
And is here until six pm
(On a Saturday and a Sunday!)
I swear he is driving me nuts
I'd move out - but the cheap rent!
The only other option's a tent
Without all the cons
Nor the mods - like in huts
He fills my bins with his
rubbish and it's of this
I get furious for there's no
Room for mine and it's bad
That he makes no distinction
Of recycling and has no inklin'
That his crap upsets the process
Of doing their job - and it's sad
Also that his eyes have lost colour
Which reflects a grey pallour
And his marbles have fled
Far to the distant sea
But I feel no sympathy
Because it's wasted empathy
And I deserve a landlord
Deserving of someone like me
There's a palace of trees
Which would certainly please
Though a price out of my range
I shall work hard to attain it
And then when I move in
My own house I will groove in
With allnight parties and dancing
But first I must obtain it
So for now I put my head down
Before I can go to town
And do all that must be done
Long beforehand
Though rates are atrocious
And utilities ferocious
The cost of peace one answer:
I need to own my own land
To get away from this annoyance
Who's upsetting my buoyance
And pissing me something rotten
Either that or pull a 51-50
Which'd be best in this case
Because I'm sick of his face
His voice, his lingering, his noise
And incessant demands on my sanity!
This is part of a quintet - the others are My *************** Landlord, My Landlord is a *******************, and Would You **** Off You **********************