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sundarramchand
03-08-2011, 01:18 AM
Farewell :
In the landscapes of the mind
You are the space you leave behind
A presence ,
felt in absence.

The living mind

Dark skies,
Fertile soil,
Pollination,
Fertilisation,
Life unfolds.

Experiences,
Sensation,
Perception,
Knowledge,
Realisation
Mind unfolds



Words
Words, Fluid, Slippery,
Mingle,merge and flow
To erode
And create spaces and deep recesses
where they echo and vibrate
Like in half-filled cups

Words tangle and entwine
In the readers mind
And meaning emerges from the chaotic soup



Poetry
Poetry is that which inspires poems
Poetry is that which inspires eloquence
Poetry is that which inspires silence


Truth
Truth dies, unceasingly,
To be the seed of something eternal,
Represented in the world,
Impinging like the holes in a carpet,
On spacetime



A day in my life
Words and abstractions fill up the empty spaces in my life,
Things that might have been,
Promises not kept,
Memories of things that almost were

In the mornings, I wake sweating
Trying to exorcise my ghosts,
As the day wears on , the emptiness like the words
Gets etched into my brain

I deal with abstractions
alive and dear to me a while ago,
But now I long to touch the sky
And the depths of the sea
Is it too late ?

Am I doomed to ‘Unlive’ a long life ?
Packing emptiness into every second

I long to embrace and hug and cuddle
The kind ignorant body
Wiser than the knowledgeable mind

I go back to my abstractions thinking
Maybe today I will know
The meaning of the word they call ‘Life’

PrinceMyshkin
03-08-2011, 08:45 AM
There is much to think about here - perhaps too much all at once. I felt closest to these lines:



I long to embrace and hug and cuddle
The kind ignorant body
Wiser than the knowledgeable mind


because they gave me more of a sense of the living entity - rather than the mind alone - behind them.

Welcome to this Forum.

sundarramchand
03-08-2011, 09:54 AM
Thanks !! (Especially coming from a seasoned / experienced poet)

Actually, “ignorant body” and “knowledgeable mind’ have not been used in their day-to day sense and the intent was to juxtapose opposing categories such as emotions, feelings (love, desire, passion and even wonder etc) which is what i mean by “ignorant body” against the cold, precise logic and narrow knowledge of a discipline (“Knowledgeable mind”)

“Ignorance” here is intended to denote innocence and ideally one could have used “brain”.

I suppose this conflict of categories and unusual usage tends to shock and trigger introspection which was the intent

This is not an autobiographical poem and is also not anti-intellectual but more of a reflection of an individual at the cross-roads and the individual’s desire / longing to live life to the fullest and have rich emotional experiences (touch the sky etc. are metaphors of this.) and merge as a “wholer”individual with a greater integration of intellect , intuition, emotion etc.

Of course, “mind’ is a much larger entity and may include the mind-body connection (immune system etc)

Thanks once again,
Sundar

sundarramchand
03-08-2011, 10:05 AM
Also, there are multiple short poems here, each with a different theme

deryk
03-10-2011, 03:41 AM
Nice selection. Some of it reads a bit like a mission statement. And it might be your mission statement. I enjoyed "words" the best, because it broke the train of broad abstractions. "Half filled cups" was an especially nice touch, for example.

sundarramchand
03-10-2011, 12:06 PM
Thanks !! Actually it should have been "air in half filled cups"

IceM
03-11-2011, 12:31 AM
I think my favorite of the collection presented was words. The spontaneous shapes and varying images they create is something I always address in my poetry, never explicitly. It is the experimatation with word and how the juxtaposition of various phrases can create different meanings that fascinate me.

Honestly, I wasn't fond of many of the others. My critique comes not from your ideas but instead on how you voice them. Your second poem felt like what some of my friends do--string together words to create a meaning. That idea can work; with the poem you tried it on, I didn't feel an attachment to the style.

Sharpen how you choose to present your images and you'll improve.

sundarramchand
03-11-2011, 10:20 PM
Most of the poems in this collection except "words" and "A day in my life" were my earliest "recorded" attempts at poetry (i have written before that but i do not remember these poems) and were also experiments with form in a sense.

sundarramchand
03-11-2011, 10:28 PM
Actually, the one poem that i felt is fairly abstract is "Truth". You could also look at my other posts in the poetry section to get an idea of how my poetry has evolved.

sundarramchand
08-14-2017, 03:42 AM
Something long overdue. I have tried to separate the poems





Farewell

In the landscapes of the mind
You are the space you leave behind
A presence ,
felt in absence.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The living mind

Dark skies,
Fertile soil,
Pollination,
Fertilisation,
Life unfolds.

Experiences,
Sensation,
Perception,
Knowledge,
Realisation
Mind unfolds

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words

Words, Fluid, Slippery,
Mingle,merge and flow
To erode
And create spaces and deep recesses
where they echo and vibrate
Like in half-filled cups

Words tangle and entwine
In the readers mind
And meaning emerges from the chaotic soup

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poetry

Poetry is that which inspires poems
Poetry is that which inspires eloquence
Poetry is that which inspires silence

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Truth

Truth dies, unceasingly,
To be the seed of something eternal,
Represented in the world,
Impinging like the holes in a carpet,
On spacetime

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A day in my life

Words and abstractions fill up the empty spaces in my life,
Things that might have been,
Promises not kept,
Memories of things that almost were

In the mornings, I wake sweating
Trying to exorcise my ghosts,
As the day wears on , the emptiness like the words
Gets etched into my brain

I deal with abstractions
alive and dear to me a while ago,
But now I long to touch the sky
And the depths of the sea
Is it too late ?

Am I doomed to ‘Unlive’ a long life ?
Packing emptiness into every second

I long to embrace and hug and cuddle
The kind ignorant body
Wiser than the knowledgeable mind

I go back to my abstractions thinking
Maybe today I will know
The meaning of the word they call ‘Life’

sundarramchand
08-14-2017, 03:45 AM
Apologies to readers for the inconvenience and thanks for ur patience !!