The man who thought he was suffering

[PrinceMyshkin]

There once was a man
who had it so good
he thought he was suffering.

None of his neighbours knew
how good he had it
nor that he suffered
- or thought that he did.

They considered him an ordinary man,
pleasant enough,
a bit impatient at times,
a bit of a mystery to himself.

But then, most of them were,
mysteries, that is,
to themselves at least.

[YesNo]

I agree that each of us thinks we are more mysterious than those we meet without realizing that we are basically the same.

It is interesting that you add suffering as a way to experience that mysteriousness. However, that makes sense to me. We can learn from suffering.

[everyadventure]

Isn't it true that no matter what, we're able to point out something that keeps our lives from being as wonderful as we feel we deserve? If you're retired: sigh, I'm BORED. If you have plenty to eat: sigh, I'm OVERWEIGHT. If you have healthy, active children: sigh, I have no TIME. There's always something to be miserable about :)

So, I like the theme of your poem. But, I felt it wandered astray. The double "a bits," the "that is," "at least..." it feels somewhat clunky. And then it felt like the topic of the poem switched mid-way, from this man's "suffering," to... the universal mystery of self-awareness? Hmm.

But you know I'm a fan of yours, Prince!

[_Shannon_]

I dunno--something in me rails against this. We are all suffering. And even if what someone else is suffering seems minuscule to me, or my own sufferings seem trite--it doesn't make them any less real. I kind of think suffering is the glue which binds humanity together. So the limerick form kind of ticks me off from the get go...lol!!

[_Shannon_]

Then again, my highly emotional response is probably proof positive of the success of your poem, if in fact Pound is right that only emotion endures.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Many thanks, Yesno, EveryA, Shannon and Shannon again...

Apropos the stammering repetitious bits that EA pointed out, I felt they were appropriate to a poem that's about emotional chaos if it's about anything. Although I think the opening three lines do mean something, I'd hate to have my life depend on explicating them! Here's hoping that someone understands them better or more plainly than I do.

[AuntShecky]

As typical of your verse, this particular one exhibits much careful thought, "philosophy" if you will, behind its statements, and--

as is the usual case when I read your writing, it makes me think of precedents, not that your work isn't original but to emphasize the fact that you are in quite distinguished company. The two works your poem made me think of were:

"You Would Rather Have the Blues" a witty, Frank Loesser-influenced song by the under-rated Dave Frishberg and especially--

a recent movie, A Serious Man by the Coen Brothers (notto be confused with A Single Man, starring this year's Oscar(TM) winner, Colin Firth. Please, Prince, if you ever get a chance to see this movie (maybe on HBO), please drop everything and see it. It will change your life, I guarantee it.

[PrinceMyshkin]

As typical of your verse, this particular one exhibits much careful thought, "philosophy" if you will, behind its statements, and--

as is the usual case when I read your writing, it makes me think of precedents, not that your work isn't original but to emphasize the fact that you are in quite distinguished company. The two works your poem made me think of were:

"You Would Rather Have the Blues" a witty, Frank Loesser-influenced song by the under-rated Dave Frishberg and especially--

a recent movie, A Serious Man by the Coen Brothers (notto be confused with A Single Man, starring this year's Oscar(TM) winner, Colin Firth. Please, Prince, if you ever get a chance to see this movie (maybe on HBO), please drop everything and see it. It will change your life, I guarantee it.

Alas, too late because I have seen "A Serious Man" and if it were going to change my life, it would already have done so, although... if I see it again, would it change my life back again? Must look up the Loesser-influenced song. Thanks...

[Sampson]

In the midst of the first year of a philosophy degree, I find much wisdom in this diverse little poem... After reading it over a couple of times I find myself wondering; if the mysteries we all face within ourselves are synonymous with suffering? We all seem desperate to know ourselves and at the same time ourselves are all we can ever really know. How strange...

[jajdude]

I liked it and at once it reminded of Stephen Crane, whose poems I have not read in perhaps close to 20 years, so I looked him up and sure enough, all his poems, usually short ones, are there on poemhunter.

Here's one, see if you can feel the tone, if it resembles yours.

A learned man came to me once.
He said, "I know the way, -- come."
And I was overjoyed at this.
Together we hastened.
Soon, too soon, were we
Where my eyes were useless,
And I knew not the ways of my feet.
I clung to the hand of my friend;
But at last he cried, "I am lost."

[PrinceMyshkin]

I liked it and at once it reminded of Stephen Crane, whose poems I have not read in perhaps close to 20 years, so I looked him up and sure enough, all his poems, usually short ones, are there on poemhunter.

Here's one, see if you can feel the tone, if it resembles yours.

A learned man came to me once.
He said, "I know the way, -- come."
And I was overjoyed at this.
Together we hastened.
Soon, too soon, were we
Where my eyes were useless,
And I knew not the ways of my feet.
I clung to the hand of my friend;
But at last he cried, "I am lost."

Whether it reminds me of my own or not, it's a good, spare, spooky poem. Thanks

[blank|verse]

This is another well-observed, reflective poem, Prince. There's something about the narrator's detached tone which reminds me of Stevie Smith's 'Not Waving but Drowning' (http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=7089). With this in mind, I wonder if line 5 shouldn't repeat line 2 more closely:

There once was a man
who had it so good
he thought he was suffering.

None of his neighbours knew
he had it so good
rather than 'how good he had it' which I found a bit awkward. I felt also the last stanza could have been stronger, and maybe some more specific detail would have brought the character to life a bit more. But maybe that's missing the point.

[Jerrybaldy]

I sometimes think of you as the Emperor and his new wardrobe dear Prince but it usually turns out to be that Narnia wardrobe.

[Delta40]

lol. There is always something deeply profound in your writing that one must begin with: There once was a man who was such a good poet.....

[PrinceMyshkin]

I sometimes think of you as the Emperor and his new wardrobe dear Prince but it usually turns out to be that Narnia wardrobe.

You do me honour, my friend, by confessing to this suspicion, and yes, I sometimes feel that I present myself naked or in clothes that are illusory and perhaps transparent.

[deryk]

Well, I suppose we all have to cultivate our spleen at times.

[firefangled]

There once was a man
who had it so good
he thought he was suffering.

None of his neighbours knew
how good he had it
nor that he suffered
- or thought that he did.

They considered him an ordinary man,
pleasant enough,
a bit impatient at times,
a bit of a mystery to himself.

But then, most of them were,
mysteries, that is,
to themselves at least.


Yes, as previously said about your poems like this one, there is not a line wasted. Like objects at the bottom of a pool, the lines need to be looked at more than once and from different angles to see all that is there.

This reminded me of Paul Simon's Song A Most Peculiar Man.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thanks Delta, Deryk and



This reminded me of Paul Simon's Song A Most Peculiar Man.

I don't know that song but expect I could Google it.

[jajdude]

I like Paul Simon a lot, but that song kinda sucks.