The Swallow

[NikolaiI]

The Swallow

Long to the West where the sun
is always East and orange,
down by the brook running chillio,
'Twas a nighttime bright reflection of a swallow.
Quickly flying, graceful, hale,
and mindful of the hillio,
Traceless as the boundless glades
of greening ever dreaming
of a singing in a bringing
where love-light-energy
can be found
stillio.

[everyadventure]

This one felt a little slippery. I didn't quite understand why you added "io" to the end of the words... if the FIRST one had naturally had that ending, I'd understand it being a playful method of rhyming, but you had to work them all over, so it left the reader a bit confused as to motive. Also, I had a hard time imagining "nighttime bright."

But, I thought the pace of the poem captured the movement of the swallow nicely.