Dream Ghosts

[Delta40]

I am awake but I'm not
Gathered in my room
of quarantined love,
the dead skirt the perimeter,
whispering in groups
behind lace curtains.
You especially shape my outlook
when I arrive at this
cemetery of sleep.

There is a young child
flitting about anxiously
as if she is trapped.
She is the ghost who escaped us.
She weaves between
steaming cups of tea
and crumbling shortbread
Her rosebud lips
pouting between tinkling
laughter
and polite murmurs.
she passes through me
and I gush tears.
I am stuck in the wake
till she slips out under the door.

I watch me collect and stack
dirty dishes,
despondent at her loss
while you boast how you
paid for the funeral.

My invisible aunt
with a birds nest hairdo
offers me an Avon catalogue
from the other side.
When I take her full plate
I think if I can hold onto it
long enough,
leftovers will be a good thing.

With a flick of your hand
you roar 'Everybody out!'
so only you claim me
in the night.
I feel the weight of you
across my chest.
I want you near me.
I beg you to talk to me
Comfort me.
You breathe hot nothings
in my ear
till my own hands
smother your mouth.

I assure you it is ok,
that I don't mind.
I don't;
not since the child ghost left.
She was like glue
now we are solvent.
I do what I must
because none of this is real.
As the radio alarm blares
'Please Don't Go',
you sink back into the carpet.
I become unstuck,
awake,
alone.

[MystyrMystyry]

I like it Delta, though I would work on

she was the glue
which bound us together

only because it's a cliche spread over two lines - there's nothing wrong with an allusion to a cliche but to use it entirely in here feels wrong

UNLESS

The later line:

I become unstuck

which seems to be referencing it (but too loosely to be sure) is intentional and therefore it would need tightening


Instead of hot nothings, maybe try hot whispers ?

[PrinceMyshkin]

I agree with Mystyr especially as the glue image comes after so many more passionate, more personal sounding ones. The images throughout form such a coherent scene!

[_Shannon_]

Heartwrenching! So captures the nebulousness of loss. I also agree about the glue, but only because the rest of the poem is so, very good. It just sort of stands out awkwardly--which might as I think about it be a good thing. One way maybe to leave it in, though I don't know if it would work structurally would be to make it a quote from someone--since people tend to say dumb cliched things to people who have lost a child, not knowing what else to say.

[Delta40]

Agreed. I hope the edit flows better.