Ode to a Grass Blade

[IceM]

Facing dangerous traps each day:
the sun, the wind, the rain, the snow,
Yet every day are countless goals:
"Forever I am, here to stay,
reach up at the sky, to which I grow
and escape the mower's metal seams."

Invariably attacked, never
defeated, finding ways to succeed
against greater forces and devices,
attempting to stand forever,
to find ways to live unimpeded,
nothing less than success suffices.

The mower's blades are coming,
to slash down this defiant nation,
and gift them to the morning dew.
"But if there be morning sunning
and strength to fuel conflagration,
then the blades will only spark our dreams anew."

I wish my heart were that grass blade.

[everyadventure]

An original take, I like this nation of grass blades standing up to the mower. But, I think you can do without the last line. The reader understands there's more to this poem than just grass, and your point will be well taken without stating the obvious.

Thanks for sharing!

[blank|verse]

For me, it's impossible to read this without thinking of Philip Larkin's 'Cut Grass': (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/cut-grass/)

Cut grass lies frail
Brief is the breath
Mown stalks exhale [...]
but it's still an nicely empathetic poem, Ice.

I thought a lot of the phrasing was quite prosaic, and thought it odd that you chose to describe elements vital to the growth and survival of grass and other plants (sun, wind, rain) as 'dangerous traps'.

And I'm not keen on the last line, either. Still, an interesting poem.

[IceM]

Yeah, I agree the last line probably isn't completely necessary. I just didn't know how to end it for the time being.

I see why you might find the phrasing prosaic. My understanding of meter is really poor, and when I wrote this a few days ago, I just thought meter was having an equal number of syllables in each line, which is what I tried here. It wasn't too effective.

I do have two comments to make on your review, blank. First: my reference to the vitals for grass's survival as traps was meant to be ironic, but metaphoric--that we must not become overly dependent. I added in references to this idea in the latter first and second stanzas, most notably the "finding ways to live unimpeded." But I see the inefficiency I created.

In terms of being prosaic, I intended for the beauty of the grass and its perseverance to exist in being such, not through charming imagery that some of my other works possess. The beauty of perseverance lies in itself. I tried not to lather too much imagery to the grass and stay to the essentials.

Thanks for the reads nonetheless.