brandygang
02-26-2011, 11:18 PM
I'm attempting to write a story for my school's literary club based on some creative ideas I had in mind. I wanted to write a sort of fairy-tail like fantasy, but write it so it's perceived in the same vein as a digital short or short film. Like if anybodies seen any of the pixar videos where they tell a story without dialogue or narration, that was what I was going for. Except in's a written story, so there has to be such. But I only did so from the narrator. Even the parts that highlight the characters thoughts are only being told from the narrator, they're not an actual representation of the characters reaching out to the reader.
Here's what I have so far;
Once upon a time, in a magical world as far as worlds go, a youth awoke. She hadn't woken prior nor could she recall such. No one knew where she or the world she lived in came from, but she awoke and the world existed as it did. She got herself up, and looked around. Inspecting she found nothing but dirt and dust underneath her, but dead lifeless trees behind a dirt trail. The dead woods were thick and far so she couldn't see past them, as the trail descended into darkness a certain point on. Turning around she saw where the dirt faded, where grass and dew began. There were trees there, but far less, and they were full and lush, many bearing fruit, with bright flowers surrounding them. She looked forward, and past the bright grass were a diamond castle and a sunny clear blue sky behind it. It wasn't like her gray dreary sky, and with this the skies seemed to part where the dirt and grass transitioned.
She dusted herself off, the earth coating her everywhere. She brushed her darkly clothed bosom, leading down through her waist and ending in a scruffy blouse above her knees, ripped and dirtied as they were. Black and white striped stockings covered her them down complimented by dull MaryJanes, which she brushed as well. She shook her long black straight hair, rubbed her wide brown eyes, and finally clapped her dainty hands off. Her skin was somewhat pale, not that she minded or noticed. After taking care of what little hygiene she could at the moment, she went back to observing duties.
She walked forward, towards the sunny half of the bifurcated sky, until she bumped into something and fell back. Back on her feet, she felt forward and couldn't find what it was that was blocking her. It seemed intangible, invisible, and she couldn't advance, a glass wall, a force field, a magical barrier maybe? She didn't know. Kicking and shoving it didn't help, she only tired herself out. Panting, she laid on the dirt for a moment, until she heard bubbly giggling.
She got up again and captured the sight. Tracing her hands across the obstacle, the child mirror to her did the same, mimicking her every action, dancing fingers around the surface, barely touching.
The girl had blond short hair with 2 short pig-tails on one side. Equipped with a pink dress and puffy sleeves and stockings to match, her bright demeanor was in sharp contrast to her more morbid counterpart. The obvious pink and white lit up against the other's white and dull black. Her sharp sultry eyes followed against the other's brown marbles until they lined up perfectly. She retracted her hand and giggled again, wiggling her hand playfully.
The two stepped back and sat down. The blond one picked up a toy next to her, and shoved it forward. It went to others hands, which now held a small colorful sphere. Confused, the stoic felt the nonsensical barrier still, but had no trouble in moving the sphere through it. Consistently, her friend giggled and picked it up again, walking a few steps back, then tossed the sphere up again until it reached the other child's pale hands. Looking at the sphere than up again, she understood and smirked, reciprocating accordingly. They continued the pattern of play joyfully, missing at times, changing the distance or height for their amusement. This went on for a while, until the two laughed and sat. A tall white man in an afro with sunglasses and a tux came behind the blond, and laid down a cake and walked away. She was excited at this and started to eat, but after a few bites noticed her new found friend staring on, so she sliced a piece and handed it across, dropping it in the others hands. The two smiled and ate. Then they played with the colorful sphere some more until the blond waved and walked back into the massive castle. Then they slept.
That night the dirt-bound miss briefly woke up, with nothing but dirt for a bed, alone in the depth of night. She heard all sorts of sounds from the woods behind her, grunts, howls, screams, laughter, and lots of rustling. She rolled around and went back to sleep.
The next day the stoic youth woke up again at about the same time, woken by the sound of knocking. She saw her blond companion hitting against the silly force separating them, but only physically. She had her colorful sphere ready, and the two begun to play again. After tiring shortly, the afro man brought cake again. Giving her less fortunate friend a slice, this time on a plate with a fork, the elegant miss snapped her fingers and a colorful being came forth from the castle. He was wearing purple overalls and had a large red nose and shoes far larger than what one would expect shoes to be,sizewise. He danced, and honked his nose and played all sorts of amusing tricks. The two girls laughed as they ate their cake, until they finally finished. Then they went back to tossing the sphere back and forth.
Playing gleefully, the ball went to the paler one and she chased after it as it rolled. She found it stuck in thorny bush, put plucked it out. She looked around her, surrounded by those lifeless trees, forming the cave of whatever void lay ahead. Looking into the void, surely something must make it up other than murky trees. She wondered whether it would it be a castle, colorful spheres, cake or even men in suits and overalls. She heard loud knocking and turned around to see the same wondrous sunny world, untouchable to her as it was. They played until the two tired out and then went to bed as before. This time the young mistress of dirt and rags gathered some crumpled leaves and swept some dirt a little more tidily, making the 'bed' for herself more comfortable. If only slightly.
The countless days played out similar to those two, with the two playing with the colorful sphere day after day. Although from time to time they would interact differently, such as the two clapping in unison, or racing back and forth from one point of the imaginary fence to another. The afro man would sometimes bring tarts and sweets, cupcakes and pies instead of just cake. And sometimes the lucky damsel would bring fruit from the trees that scattered around her castle. She would also bring toys and games from her castle for the two to occupy their time with, although the mysterious barricade made many of them unusable. (A game with many colorful dots on a mat was one of them) Dolls and plushies and costumes however could be shared. And many new figures often showed up. One day the honey ordered paints, and the two painted each other carefully with paper. Then themselves, as paint spilt on each other so they just resorted to making a mess out of themselves, playing their sphere game with the paints, after colorful laughter towels were brought for the two.
At the snap of the blond's finger, fantastical citizens of her world came forth. One had a slim figure showing off a pink leotard and tights, as she danced and spun. Another one was large, had hooves, a white mane and fur, as well as a horn. The elegant girl rode it wildly. Other's beings breathed fire, played instruments, acted out dramatic scenes. The two girls enjoyed there company when not playing by themselves. Always from the bubbly tot's side, as these companions couldn't cross the restriction dividing the grass and skies anymore than the girls could.
However the ragged lass would occasionally start to wonder off to those woods again. When the blond went to get more toys or go to bed, she would snap her fingers, stomp her feet or make whistling noises towards those woods. No one would ever come however, much to her disappointment.
On a rather bored day from their usual games, the rag girl had an idea. She pulled a long wooden stick she found from the ground, and poked the bored damsel on the other side, wakening her. Pulling the stick back and forth towards her, the ally took a hint and grabbed the other hint. Holding her hand out counting out fingers, after the 3rd finger the blond one pulled. Rags went flying, only to be stopped abruptly by the same force mid-way. The blond picked up the stick and they repeated the experiment, counting fingers. 3 fingers later and the bright youngster was pulled ahead, only to expectedly hit an invisible headfirst. Getting up and rubbing her head, the two simply stared and then laughed. They both grabbed the stick again at the dirt-sided ones insistence, and she pointed turned around pointing parallel to the divide between them. Nodding together, they start to walk forward in unison.
They walked and walked, with little change in sight. To the dark haired one, woods and woods followed her path, only thicker and without entrance like from her start. From the blond's perspective, there was simply grass, trees, and sunshine. Out there was her castle, which changed sizes as she walked but was always in view. However after a certain point for the dark hair, the woods thinned out, and another void was seen. With a splash, she looked down to see her shoes were wet. The ground beneath her was rather muddy, and the trail to the void ahead widened into a shallow stream of sorts. She tried to took a step towards it, but was pulled back by the stick she almost forgot she was holding on to. Brushing back her hair, she sighed and kept on walking. Eventually before nightfall they walked forward enough until they found themselves right back where they started, only in opposite direction. Shrugging her shoulders, a exhausted familiar waved her friend off and then returned back to her quarters for rest.
The night quickly came to pass, and the sun was slowly setting in the east. A solemn girl woke up forcing herself to rise, but only halfway. With her waist up towards the still-dark sky, she rubbed her eyes and cleared some leaves out of her hair. She put her hand on her face, still exhausted from the previous days lament. As well as exhausted from the existential tension rising every day before it. How many days had she woken up? How many days would she wake up still? Soon her blond accomplice would arrive from her giant shelter again, her castle she resided in and occupied every day that she had woken up. What was in that place, would she ever know? Did it even matter? How many amusing objects or people would she be able to show before she ran out? Would the two spend every day living their little lives as they had? It was all too much to take in. She needed a relief, a drastic solution. And she had already had a long anticipated answer.
She got up-
What's to follow is what she finds in the woods, how her friend reacts, and the ultimate conclusion.
Does anybody find it hard to characterize a character that has no dialogue or even a name? I tried my best to at least give them little quirks or predictable actions, but even with that I want to know how far I can take my characters to make them sympathized with. (Since it's crucial to appreciating the eventual ending)
Any advice on this would be very much appreciated.
Here's what I have so far;
Once upon a time, in a magical world as far as worlds go, a youth awoke. She hadn't woken prior nor could she recall such. No one knew where she or the world she lived in came from, but she awoke and the world existed as it did. She got herself up, and looked around. Inspecting she found nothing but dirt and dust underneath her, but dead lifeless trees behind a dirt trail. The dead woods were thick and far so she couldn't see past them, as the trail descended into darkness a certain point on. Turning around she saw where the dirt faded, where grass and dew began. There were trees there, but far less, and they were full and lush, many bearing fruit, with bright flowers surrounding them. She looked forward, and past the bright grass were a diamond castle and a sunny clear blue sky behind it. It wasn't like her gray dreary sky, and with this the skies seemed to part where the dirt and grass transitioned.
She dusted herself off, the earth coating her everywhere. She brushed her darkly clothed bosom, leading down through her waist and ending in a scruffy blouse above her knees, ripped and dirtied as they were. Black and white striped stockings covered her them down complimented by dull MaryJanes, which she brushed as well. She shook her long black straight hair, rubbed her wide brown eyes, and finally clapped her dainty hands off. Her skin was somewhat pale, not that she minded or noticed. After taking care of what little hygiene she could at the moment, she went back to observing duties.
She walked forward, towards the sunny half of the bifurcated sky, until she bumped into something and fell back. Back on her feet, she felt forward and couldn't find what it was that was blocking her. It seemed intangible, invisible, and she couldn't advance, a glass wall, a force field, a magical barrier maybe? She didn't know. Kicking and shoving it didn't help, she only tired herself out. Panting, she laid on the dirt for a moment, until she heard bubbly giggling.
She got up again and captured the sight. Tracing her hands across the obstacle, the child mirror to her did the same, mimicking her every action, dancing fingers around the surface, barely touching.
The girl had blond short hair with 2 short pig-tails on one side. Equipped with a pink dress and puffy sleeves and stockings to match, her bright demeanor was in sharp contrast to her more morbid counterpart. The obvious pink and white lit up against the other's white and dull black. Her sharp sultry eyes followed against the other's brown marbles until they lined up perfectly. She retracted her hand and giggled again, wiggling her hand playfully.
The two stepped back and sat down. The blond one picked up a toy next to her, and shoved it forward. It went to others hands, which now held a small colorful sphere. Confused, the stoic felt the nonsensical barrier still, but had no trouble in moving the sphere through it. Consistently, her friend giggled and picked it up again, walking a few steps back, then tossed the sphere up again until it reached the other child's pale hands. Looking at the sphere than up again, she understood and smirked, reciprocating accordingly. They continued the pattern of play joyfully, missing at times, changing the distance or height for their amusement. This went on for a while, until the two laughed and sat. A tall white man in an afro with sunglasses and a tux came behind the blond, and laid down a cake and walked away. She was excited at this and started to eat, but after a few bites noticed her new found friend staring on, so she sliced a piece and handed it across, dropping it in the others hands. The two smiled and ate. Then they played with the colorful sphere some more until the blond waved and walked back into the massive castle. Then they slept.
That night the dirt-bound miss briefly woke up, with nothing but dirt for a bed, alone in the depth of night. She heard all sorts of sounds from the woods behind her, grunts, howls, screams, laughter, and lots of rustling. She rolled around and went back to sleep.
The next day the stoic youth woke up again at about the same time, woken by the sound of knocking. She saw her blond companion hitting against the silly force separating them, but only physically. She had her colorful sphere ready, and the two begun to play again. After tiring shortly, the afro man brought cake again. Giving her less fortunate friend a slice, this time on a plate with a fork, the elegant miss snapped her fingers and a colorful being came forth from the castle. He was wearing purple overalls and had a large red nose and shoes far larger than what one would expect shoes to be,sizewise. He danced, and honked his nose and played all sorts of amusing tricks. The two girls laughed as they ate their cake, until they finally finished. Then they went back to tossing the sphere back and forth.
Playing gleefully, the ball went to the paler one and she chased after it as it rolled. She found it stuck in thorny bush, put plucked it out. She looked around her, surrounded by those lifeless trees, forming the cave of whatever void lay ahead. Looking into the void, surely something must make it up other than murky trees. She wondered whether it would it be a castle, colorful spheres, cake or even men in suits and overalls. She heard loud knocking and turned around to see the same wondrous sunny world, untouchable to her as it was. They played until the two tired out and then went to bed as before. This time the young mistress of dirt and rags gathered some crumpled leaves and swept some dirt a little more tidily, making the 'bed' for herself more comfortable. If only slightly.
The countless days played out similar to those two, with the two playing with the colorful sphere day after day. Although from time to time they would interact differently, such as the two clapping in unison, or racing back and forth from one point of the imaginary fence to another. The afro man would sometimes bring tarts and sweets, cupcakes and pies instead of just cake. And sometimes the lucky damsel would bring fruit from the trees that scattered around her castle. She would also bring toys and games from her castle for the two to occupy their time with, although the mysterious barricade made many of them unusable. (A game with many colorful dots on a mat was one of them) Dolls and plushies and costumes however could be shared. And many new figures often showed up. One day the honey ordered paints, and the two painted each other carefully with paper. Then themselves, as paint spilt on each other so they just resorted to making a mess out of themselves, playing their sphere game with the paints, after colorful laughter towels were brought for the two.
At the snap of the blond's finger, fantastical citizens of her world came forth. One had a slim figure showing off a pink leotard and tights, as she danced and spun. Another one was large, had hooves, a white mane and fur, as well as a horn. The elegant girl rode it wildly. Other's beings breathed fire, played instruments, acted out dramatic scenes. The two girls enjoyed there company when not playing by themselves. Always from the bubbly tot's side, as these companions couldn't cross the restriction dividing the grass and skies anymore than the girls could.
However the ragged lass would occasionally start to wonder off to those woods again. When the blond went to get more toys or go to bed, she would snap her fingers, stomp her feet or make whistling noises towards those woods. No one would ever come however, much to her disappointment.
On a rather bored day from their usual games, the rag girl had an idea. She pulled a long wooden stick she found from the ground, and poked the bored damsel on the other side, wakening her. Pulling the stick back and forth towards her, the ally took a hint and grabbed the other hint. Holding her hand out counting out fingers, after the 3rd finger the blond one pulled. Rags went flying, only to be stopped abruptly by the same force mid-way. The blond picked up the stick and they repeated the experiment, counting fingers. 3 fingers later and the bright youngster was pulled ahead, only to expectedly hit an invisible headfirst. Getting up and rubbing her head, the two simply stared and then laughed. They both grabbed the stick again at the dirt-sided ones insistence, and she pointed turned around pointing parallel to the divide between them. Nodding together, they start to walk forward in unison.
They walked and walked, with little change in sight. To the dark haired one, woods and woods followed her path, only thicker and without entrance like from her start. From the blond's perspective, there was simply grass, trees, and sunshine. Out there was her castle, which changed sizes as she walked but was always in view. However after a certain point for the dark hair, the woods thinned out, and another void was seen. With a splash, she looked down to see her shoes were wet. The ground beneath her was rather muddy, and the trail to the void ahead widened into a shallow stream of sorts. She tried to took a step towards it, but was pulled back by the stick she almost forgot she was holding on to. Brushing back her hair, she sighed and kept on walking. Eventually before nightfall they walked forward enough until they found themselves right back where they started, only in opposite direction. Shrugging her shoulders, a exhausted familiar waved her friend off and then returned back to her quarters for rest.
The night quickly came to pass, and the sun was slowly setting in the east. A solemn girl woke up forcing herself to rise, but only halfway. With her waist up towards the still-dark sky, she rubbed her eyes and cleared some leaves out of her hair. She put her hand on her face, still exhausted from the previous days lament. As well as exhausted from the existential tension rising every day before it. How many days had she woken up? How many days would she wake up still? Soon her blond accomplice would arrive from her giant shelter again, her castle she resided in and occupied every day that she had woken up. What was in that place, would she ever know? Did it even matter? How many amusing objects or people would she be able to show before she ran out? Would the two spend every day living their little lives as they had? It was all too much to take in. She needed a relief, a drastic solution. And she had already had a long anticipated answer.
She got up-
What's to follow is what she finds in the woods, how her friend reacts, and the ultimate conclusion.
Does anybody find it hard to characterize a character that has no dialogue or even a name? I tried my best to at least give them little quirks or predictable actions, but even with that I want to know how far I can take my characters to make them sympathized with. (Since it's crucial to appreciating the eventual ending)
Any advice on this would be very much appreciated.