For Love of Moon

[Cloud Sculptor]

In the solace of the moon,
I ponder the smallest things,
yet I fear I will know soon,
what ponders the moon has too.

Night and night that pass me by,
in dreams time I find my own,
kin to the orb that does try,
to shine as the sun does shone.

And yet this fear percolates,
as beautiful Luna may be,
not a love willed by the fates,
the moon and my own destiny.

[tailor STATELY]

Cloud Sculptor. Nice forum name.

Such an excellent beginning:
"In the solace of the moon,
I ponder the smallest things,"

But then you allow the rhyme to strangle your expression, to own you; leading to some awkward bits:
"what ponders the moon has too." and "to shine as the sun does shone"

Please sculpt your verse as you would clouds.

Look forward to more of your writing, and welcome to Litnet.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Bar22do]

Greetings here, Stately said what I would have... so I'll just add I can feel your poetic potential and the soarer you are.

Best of all,

Bar

[MorpheusSandman]

You do get swallowed up in the rhyme, the ungrammatical twists and archaic syntax, but if you cleaned it up I think you'd have a nice piece here. You have the feeling, now you just need to find the form.